


Bauhinia, Globe and Trolling the Racists

by AquaEclipse



Series: Pottertalia AUs [1]
Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Affectionate Insults, Aged-Up Character(s), All the Countries | Nations (Hetalia), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ancient History, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Animagus, Bad Puns, Canon Era, Canon Related, Childhood Trauma, Chinese Food, Chinese History - Freeform, Chinese Language, Chinese names, Colonialism, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Crossover, Cute, Deviates From Canon, Don't Have to Know Canon, Don't Judge Me, Don't Like Don't Read, Don't Try This At Home, Duelling, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, F/F, F/M, Family History, First Crush, First Meetings, Friendly Rivalry, Gen, Halloween, Historical Hetalia, Historical Metaphors, Historical References, Hogwarts, Hogwarts Fifth Year, Humor, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied One-Sided Relationship - Freeform, Implied Relationships, Implied one-sided attraction, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Imprisonment Threats, Innuendo, Irony, Kidnapping, Loophole, Loopholes, M/M, Major Original Character(s), Male!Singapore, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Minor Canonical Character(s), Minor Character Death, Minor Original Character(s), Multi, Non-Canonical Magical School, Non-Canonical Violence, Not First Ever Fic, Opium Wars, Original Character(s), Originally Posted Elsewhere, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Panic Attacks, Patronus, Personifications, Pet Names, Pop Culture, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-World War II, Protectiveness, Psychological Trauma, Puns & Word Play, Rebellion, Rebels, Sarcasm, Sassy, Slow To Update, Song Dynasty, Song Lyrics, Stereotypes, TV Tropes, Tags Contain Spoilers, Teen Romance, Teenage Rebellion, Tropes, Twin Bond, Wandless Magic, cantonese, female!Ireland, for APH at least, interruptions, magical university, mild romance, original magical schools, so many characters - Freeform, the platonic kind you pervert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2019-02-08
Packaged: 2019-08-28 15:56:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16726437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AquaEclipse/pseuds/AquaEclipse
Summary: My personal take on international magic, as well as what will happen if the Nations themselves were involved in the events of Harry Potter - things take a less deadly and much more hilarious turn. This also covers some of the magical misadventures of the Nations. Warning: OCs, Translations, Ships, BL, pranks, hilarity, death, mild angst, etc. Originally posted on Fanfiction.Net, now also posted here.





	1. Lion Cubs I: These are a Few of my Favourite Things (Expecto Patronum!)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, and welcome to my new fic: Bauhinia, Globe and Trolling the Racists! This fic is part-drabble, part-plot. It consists of several arcs. In the first chapter of an arc, I will explain what the arc is mainly about.  
> Lion Cubs (Arc): Hong Kong and Singapore's years at Hogwarts, and mainly content on the interactions of the two.  
> For this chapter~  
> Date of Writing: 11-12 October 2018 (I think)  
> Date of Typing and Editing: 13-14 October 2018, 20 November 2018  
> Warning: Possible ship tease, if you see it that way. Plus, Cantonese, Portuguese, Singaporean slang (I looked it up, please correct me if I am wrong) and flashbacks. I also apologize for any improper usage of Singlish terms – I do not live there and have little to no experience with the language. I mean no disrespect if I butcher the language, for it is out of ignorance. (I try to keep it mild.) In addition to all that, I apologize in advance for political and historical inaccuracy due to, once again, ignorance and Wikipedia being my main source, so please forgive me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hong Kong and Singapore discover their Patronuses and relive old memories. Warning for mild foul language, foreign languages (possibly butchered unless it's Cantonese) and not-all-that-proper grammar. Please forgive them on the latter - they aren't being formal, after all.

_May 1959_

"Class, your NEWTs are coming soon. Remember to study hard for them – they determine your future," the DADA professor, a new-blood known as Evelyn Wilson reminded the class. The two Asian boys (or rather, not-quite boys, for both of them were probably older than everyone else was in the room combined, excluding each other) glanced at each other, thinking the same thing. _Well, they don't determine_ my _future. Nice of you to say for the children, though._ The bell rang. "See you next week, class! Remember to bring your notes, because we'll be going over them!"

Two neutral-expressioned Asians walked out of the classroom. One had dark, almost black hair in an androgynous style and had a book bag slung over his shoulder. The other one had neat, deep brown hair and tan skin, and was carrying his books in a satchel. Both of them sported scars, but they were hidden underneath the black robes with green and blue lining (respectively) called the Hogwarts uniform.

"So…Patronus Charm? Keep away Dementors and Lethifolds?" asked the one with the darker hair. He was the one wearing Slytherin robes. He _did_ understand what was taught during the lesson, but you know, a little confirmation chat like this helps with studying. Just the thing for two academic achievers.

"Just Lethifolds for us. We are tropical. Dementors not big threat." responded the other, in Ravenclaw robes.

" _Sub_ tropical," corrected the Slytherin. He appeared to be of Chinese origin.

"Just you _ah_ , _Kiasu_ Harbour. Not me."

"First to cast Patronus, get 10 G from other." The Oriental was showing the slightest hint of a smirk.

"Okay," agreed the not-really-an-Oriental (no matter what half of the world would say. Idiots, the lot of them. Have they ever paid attention to a world map, or even in Geography class?).

* * *

 

_That night_

Singapore sat on his bed, going through wisps of memories. After a while, he came across this.

_It was late January, 1841. He saw a small child, appearing the age of four or so being carried into the house, pounding on the satisfied Englishman carrying him, shouting in mostly Tanka Cantonese and Fujianese/Hokkien. None of the words were profanity, but he could catch many threats, like the one to strangle the man with a fishing net, as well as one of the few in Hakka as opposed to the other two languages – to bludgeon his head in with a cooking pot. It was frankly quite amusing to see a young child yelling death threats at the Personification of an Empire, and…quite adorable too, considering that said young child was but an island or some, much like himself. Wait, had he just called him 'cute'? He didn't even know the kid's name!_

The child had grown up to be Hong Kong, the Entrepôt-City whose territory expanded, first in 1860 to the mainland of Asia, and once again (by a lot more) in 1898 up to the south of a river further north into mainland Asia. So very competitive and…hold it, was he thinking about his Slytherin…companion again? What the heck?

* * *

 

_"Hey brother_

_There's an endless road to rediscover"_

-Avicii, _Hey Brother_ , 2013

* * *

 

_It was early in the year 1888. England was taking him to visit his close friend, Portugal…and his new colony, apparently. Upon their arrival, he was greeted by two faces known to him, one vague and one oh-so-familiar. The first was a man with longish hair. The first foreigner to see him, when he was a mere_ chibi _, who was chased away to his brother by_ Yao Gor _in like, the early 1520s. The other was an older child, perhaps nine or so in human years while he was only six or seven, with neat hair and glasses, also was his brother, his only_ blood _brother. He had not seen his sister in…probably since before he was taken._

_He wanted to wrap his brother, his true brother in a big hug, but he could not – blame the blond holding his shoulder, like a restraint…no, it_ was _a restraint._

_"Leon, this is Ezequiel – Portugal and his newest Colony, Vicente – Macau. Ezequiel and Vicente, Leon – Hong Kong."_

_"Pleasure to meet you," said his brother, as though he were…a mere stranger._

_"Hello,_ menino _, we have not seen each other in, what is it again, three centuries?" greeted the other Empire. He said nothing as he ignored most of the fancy small talk, until they…gave the two colonies some inter-colony bonding time, since the Empires were both close friends, it seemed good if their Colonies got along too._

_Screw bonding, it was a reunion between two neighbours, no,_ brothers _._ Blood _brothers. They had known each other far longer than the time the Empires knew them._

_"_ Oi _,_ Lung-Tsai _." His brother's embrace was warm, like home…at least he wasn't alone among all the great big Nations._

_"_ Hallo _,_ Ka-Lun _."_

" _Expecto patronum_!" He had tried a dozen times, but finally, a blob of silvery white erupted from his new wand (in use for only a little more than thirteen years), hovering over the eiderdown quilt. The lake water splashed against the windows in the late night. _Well, freshwater isn't as good as seawater, but it's close enough._ For once, a smile adorned the Hongkonger's face.

As for his old wand, which had been in use since before he was subjected to New Imperialism… _no. Memories. No._ The silvery blob faded into the air like morning mist instantly, vanishing under the glow of the silver lanterns.

* * *

 

_A few weeks later_

"Do you have anything else to show us, Mister Wong-Kirkland?" asked the examiner.

_Ka-Lun. Liên. His blood family. His mother, even though she was…gone before even he was even brought into the Qing._

_Night sky. Stars. Tales of forbidden lovers and mythical creatures and gods and goddesses. Tradition. Superstition. Myths and legends, or are they?_

_Food…the usual, not the ash-like scones that Arthur makes. He's going to need some cooking lessons soon._ He almost smiled.

_Vitasoy. Tea._

_Competition. Honour. Glory._

_Justice. Perseverance. Solidarity._

_Hope._

_Friendship. Ethan._

" _Expecto patronum_." The silvery white shape erupted, once again, from the tip with the pearl focus gem, unlike the citrine in the first wand. And the creature started materializing…it was a bird. A white swan-like bird, standing upright, but its beak was dark and was shaped like one of those western wooden spoons used to stir batter and dough and stuff…a black-faced spoonbill.

How odd. Not exactly what one would call a cool Patronus, but still a Patronus.

"Ethan, you owe me ten."

* * *

 

_Summer, Late 1980s_

Seriously.

You'd think that Lethifolds only dwell in tropical regions.

Yep, it _did_ happen in the _sub_ tropics too.

Singapore was just visiting his…friend – he got news that the _Kiasu_ Harbour had just got his third SAD (Sorcerer's/Sorceress' Academic Degree) in Spellcrafting. He himself had joined Hong Kong in their first SAD – Worldwide Magical Societies, on the cultures of magical communities around the globe after his independence and things had started to cool down in his then quite-recently-established Republic. Their final year project was based on _Rappaport's Law_ and its effects – they even got themselves an info source with firsthand experience with the Law…from beginning to end. Of all the ten grades, they got an A (90%-100%) for that. For their second SAD, Hong Kong went for Ancient Runes (probably because of ancient Chinese characters) while he studied Magizoology…to find a way to prove to the World that Merlions existed. (Of course, he was planning to take Magizoological Discovery in a few years, perhaps.)

Hong Kong had invited him to meet at Arca Beach on the campus of his University of Sorcery and Enchantment. It was part of the Faculty of Magibiology and housed one of the research labs for Magizoology, which his…companion hadn't studied since his post-Hogwarts local extra studies (while he was off dealing with Malaysia and independence and all that chaos), but it was open to all…except for inside the lab, but they weren't going in there, were they?

" _Wei_ , _Sing-Ga-Bor_!" His partner-in-crime (or reasonable lack thereof) had somehow got onto the roof of the white-walled lab.

_"Kiasu_ Harbour…how you get up there _ah_?"

"Tai Hang," came the simple response.

"Oh." Tai Hang was the name of his Fyrserpent Familiar. His own was a Merlion…which no one else believed to exist. Typical World to bury their heads in the sand like ostriches…

They had been talking for a while (read: until like, 10pm, and Hong Kong was barely even tired yet, it seemed) when a dark presence showed up.

" _PK lah_ , _kupwuhnyi_!" And…yeah, that's a Lethifold in the _sub_ tropics. Because weird stuff _always_ happened around Nations.

The tembusu wand was out before the bauhinia one. " _Expecto patronum_!" From the tip leapt a…lion-headed, fish-tailed creature.

"Patronuses can't be nonexistent creatures! Everyone knows that!" Singapore laughed after about five minutes of complete silence (excluding the waves crashing against the sand and the stereotypical crickets chirping their iconic sound whenever there's dead air). "That should teach them all! Merlions do exist, asshats!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Kiasu' is a Singlish term stemming from Hokkien for 驚輸, or fearing to lose (literal translation). It usually refers to someone who thinks of themselves first and is always trying to get ahead in one way or another (quote Wikipedia), or is overcompetitive. This here refers to Hong Kong's overall competitive (even cutthroat) nature I mentioned in Chapter 5 of DiverCity, one of my fics on FFN.  
> That small Not-Really-an-Oriental rant is due to the common stereotype that Singapore is located in China. On the contrary, Singapore is in Southeast Asia, and not exactly anywhere near China, despite having a majority of their population being Chinese.  
> In 1860, the 'Convention of Peking (or Beijing)' was signed, which ceded the Kowloon Peninsula to the British Empire, making it an expansion in territory for HK. In 1898, with the 'Convention Respecting an Extension of Hong Kong Territory', the New Territories (the areas north of what is now Boundary Street, yet south of the Sham Chun/Shenzhen River, as well as the surrounded 200-something islands) was leased to the British Empire for 99 years, making it another extension in territory.  
> The thing about Portugal and HK in the early 1520s goes somewhat like this: they tried to trade in this place called Tamão Island or something, which is now Tuen Mun, a part of the New Territories now. They were chased away by the Ming in 1521, and so they went to Macau.  
> The thing about stars and forbidden lovers...maybe in a less magical future chapter.  
> Perseverance and solidarity are part of the Lion Rock Spirit, or HK's core values (since the 1970s, but who cares). The 'justice' part is alluding to the modern Lion Rock Spirit, with true democracy and stuff.  
> The Fyrserpent and the Arca are magical creatures created by Featherhooves and me. I will explain them later on. I will also explain the predicament with Hong Kong's old and new wands in a future chapter.  
> I might also explain the HK magical education system and the university thing later on.  
> For that stuff about Singaporean history, apparently, it was during the 1980s when the country settled down from post-independence pandemonium.  
> 'PK' is one of the most versatile Cantonese swear phrases. Telling someone to do so means to tell them to "fall on the street", or drop dead. This is just one way of using this phrase.  
> 'Kupwuhnyi' is the unofficial Romanization of Cantonese for 吸魂衣, or officially, 'Kap Wan Yi'. It literally translates to 'Suck Soul Clothing'. It is, apparently, Chinese for Lethifold.  
> The Tembusu is one of Singapore's most distinctive trees, according to my research. That's why it's his wand wood.  
> The Merlion, if you don't know already, is one of the symbols of Singapore.
> 
> So there you go! The Patronuses, Houses and wand wooods of Hong Kong and Singapore. The next chapter will be posted ASAP on AO3. That's when the proper plot begins. Please leave a comment!  
> -Talons


	2. Intervention I: Savages! Savages! (Calling the Commonwealth)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> England alerts the rest of the Commonwealth/Empire of Voldemort's return. They aren't happy about this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm transferring this from FFN in Computer Literacy class right now.  
> Intervention (Arc): The main plot, in which Nationkind intervenes in Hogwartian affairs to wreck havoc on the British magical community (read: Dumb***h, the Ministry, Voldemort and the Death Munchers)  
> Date of Writing: Unconfirmed (October 2018)  
> Date of Typing and Editing: 3 November, 2018 (Sirius…happy birthday!)  
> Warning: Cussing and accents. Also, possible hints of BL should you interpret it that way. (Note that it will be a ship in the context of an established relationship later on in the fic.)

_24 June 1995_

England was sick of it already.

By  _it_ , he should've meant  _him_ , but by Mother Britannia, that b@stard (in both literal and figurative senses) did not deserve a gender.

That bloody w@nker thought that it was a perfectly acceptable thing to come back from the bleeding dead.

Okay, he wasn't exactly dead in the first place – that much he had known since 1992 (so for three years). He had not quite believed it at first when Albania reported a dark presence in her forests, but when Caoimhe told him about that f**king Insult to Dark Wizards being caught stuck on the back of the Hogwarts DADA Professor's head in June 1992…

He was in severe need of a drink.

And perhaps he ought to call a Commonwealth Meeting.

* * *

_1 week later_

Way to break the bad news on two (ex-)colonies'  _birthday_  of all days.

The reaction was  _not_  pretty. One of the Nations present (read: a certain non-Commonwealth Nation that happened to be  _very_  close to the leader of it) started speaking in extremely crude words, especially concerning where exactly Ol' Noseless should go (the most memorable option being "the other f**king side of the f**king Milky Way"); and also "how dare that (here insert an extremely inappropriate word not from the English language that would make individuals who are proficient in said language, be they Nation or human, throw a chair at him for such crudeness) hurt Iggy because "it was bad enough for the first time 'round, and this time, there are not enough trained, competent adults to fight that (here insert yet another very colourful – or should I say,  _colorful_  – insult)."

There was also quieter, more subtle cussing in many other languages, ranging from variants of French and Chinese dialects to more obscure African tongues and creole languages worldwide.

Needless to say, "he will  _die_ " was the forgone conclusion of the Meeting.

They set up some ways to keep an eye (or quite a lot more) on the issue. An Ilvermornian professor-in-training would be sent in as the substitute Care of Magical Creatures professor (since Hagrid's gone). An exchange programme would be held between Hogwarts and Causeway Bay Enchantment Academy to keep the Ministry a little busy…and so that a certain British Dependent Territory (at that time) would have a somewhat-plausible excuse to be at Hogwarts…mainly so that the UK brothers could keep an eye on him while he tried to assist and keep an eye on things himself. Moreover, nearly all of the attendees were going to have some Aurors/Hit-Wizards/Hit-Witches/their equivalents ready at their magical governments to take action.

And did I mention that quite a number of Nations vowed to show up for extended periods of time during the school year, both to keep a closer eye on things as well  _and_  for the hell of it –  _why the hell not?_

All in all, the Commonwealth of Nations (and some others) were prepared to take on Moldyshorts' Dung Eaters. Tom Marvolo Riddle would forever rue the day he decided to go up against the majority population of the British Isles, because the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, would never stand alone  _or_  take any more sh!t from him. (And that's excluding his siblings.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter, I hereby introduce you to the protagonists of the exchange programme.


	3. Intervention II: Welcome to My Life (Heiresses of Causeway)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We are introduced to three of the exchange students of the programme.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was also posted in CL class.  
> Date of Writing: Unconfirmed (October 2018)  
> Date of Typing/Editing: 6-8 November 2018  
> Warning: Racism and seemingly useless information. But hey, character establishment is a thing, y' know.  
> I apologize in advance for the sheer number of Chinese names. But this is to get the character dilemma straight because one Chinese word can have many homophones (with or without tone). Also, all Chinese names are in Cantonese Romanization (naming edition), not Putonghua (Mandarin Chinese) – which you are most likely used to seeing. The meanings behind the names will be explained for the sake of etymology if you want me to explain it to you. Also, any and all documents are officially bilingual (Traditional Chinese and English), but for your sake, I will only show the English text. Thank you for your understanding, and enjoy the chapter!

In the 19th century, there lived a family on Hong Kong Island – the Kwans. Prior to the  _Statute of Secrecy_ 's establishment, they were the go-betweens of the mundanes and the magicals. However, after 1692, they closed their gateways and went into isolation, developing a hatred for the mundane community. And in the 1870s, Mr. KWAN Chun (關俊), heir of the Kwan family, also known as Nick to the westerners on the island, met Miss Antlia Margaret BLACK, a descendant of the infamous House of Black – daughter of Dorado Caelum BLACK and Margaret Camille NOTT, descendant of Polaris BLACK and Tabitha POTTER – in her thirties.

They set up a magical school in Causeway Bay, on the outskirts of Victoria City. Causeway Bay Enchantment Academy, they named the school with the hippogriff symbol and gold-and-black colours. (Thus, so came Adhara BLACK-KWAN.)

Chun (or Nick) and Antlia tied the knot eventually. Their second child, Vega Lei KWAN (關莉) married Henry Shing-Chun (巫誠進) from the pureblood MO family. The third child of the next generation, Markab Fung MO (巫峰) ended up with Charlotte Bo-Tung (鄧寶彤) from the ancient Punti clan of the TANGs, and their firstborn, Scutum Kit (巫傑) had four children with Jasmine Ching HA (夏晴) – descendant of the kings of the mythical Xia Dynasty (the only wizard-ruled dynasty in Chinese History), the youngest child of the four being Alrescha Yin MO (巫妍).

More on how Nick and Antlia met, as well as what happened to the rest of them, are two more stories to tell in the future, I suppose.

Alrescha – or Allie, as she preferred to be called – was studying Magical Literature at the local University when she met Roger Pang YEUNG (楊鵬), heir of the wandmaker family of YEUNG. In the early 1980s, they had three daughters, Mira Bik (楊碧), Ara Ha (楊霞) and Kitalpha Pui (楊佩).

Yes, I know that this family tree business is like how the  _New Testament_  of the  _Bible_  began, but hey, this Big, Screwed-Up Family was how it all started on the mundane side.

* * *

_2 weeks later_

"Breakfast!"

A teen girl of nearly fifteen years of age ran into the dining room. Twin girls merely a year and two months younger than her followed, arguing.

"We are  _sun-huet_  and should stick to the  _sun-huet_!" Mira rolled her eyes. How her little sister turned out so racist was honestly beyond her. Perhaps she should blame prolonged exposure to her cousins and ancestors.

"But Uncle Ming married Auntie Zhen-San and she's  _san-huet_! We've been telling you for the last eight years, Kitty!" Ara, the middle sister protested. Their mom's second-oldest brother Acrab (巫銘) had indeed tied the knot with Christina Zhen-San CHUI (徐真珊) a couple of decades ago. They had two children, Falcon Lik-Hang (巫力恆) and Tammy Ka-Tung (巫嘉桐), neither English name being part of their naming traditions (they chose from the most popular names list instead), but oh well.

Ara and Kitalpha were twins.  _Identical_  twins. (Well, not  _that_  identical, but the differences are minor.) How could their opinions differ so much? Where had they gone wrong raising them?

"Don't call me Kitty! And Uncle Ming can  _lok dei yuk_  for all I care! He has betrayed us! That  _sei-huet_  is  _not_  my aunt, and Lik-Hang and Ka-Tung are  _not_  my cousins!"  _Did he just renounce Uncle Ming, Aunt Zhen-San and our cousins?_  Oh hell no. Kitalpha had gone too far.

"Yeung Pui, watch your language!"

"Sorry, ma!"

Mira sighed. This happened all the time. The summer holidays had only just begun, but it didn't feel like a holiday in the slightest. Her mundane school was expecting an around-15cm-thick pile of homework (around 6 inches, if you want the Imperial System), and that wasn't counting CBEA – for that, she had four two-page essays and History of Magic, Magical Geography and Runes (magical electives that she planned to choose) to read up on. Of course, the reading part was optional, but still.

The clock struck nine. A brown hawk-owl flew in through the window. She had always thought that using carrier birds (especially owls) was a thing of the past, but nope, this modern city (in both mundane and magical aspects)  _had_  to stick to this…tradition. Didn't they know how much dung they had to clean up after they dropped by, or  _have they ever even noticed_?

Speaking of owl droppings, the brown hawk-owl had just taken a dump  _on_  the toast.  _Ugh._

She opened the parchment (only for  _formal_  documents) envelope and out rolled three rolls of parchment. The first that she opened was her result slip…as usual, it was delivered by post/mail.

_Causeway Bay Enchantment Academy_

_1994-1995 School Year_

_Result Slip_

Name: _YEUNG Mira Bik_

Sex: _Female_

Date of Birth: _13 October 1980_

Grade: _Three_

Student ID: _CB199221_

Grading System

Pass Grades

_A – 90-100%_

_B – 80-89.9%_

_C – 70-79.9%_

_D – 60-69.9%_

_E – 50-59.9%_

Fail Grades

_F – 40-49.9%_

_G – 30-39.9%_

_H – 20-29.9%_

_I – 10-19.9%_

_J – 0-9.9%_

Astronomy: _72/100 (C)_

Charms: _85/100 (B)_

 _-_ Practical: _78/100 (C)_

 _-_ Theory: _92/100 (A)_

Combat Arts: _74/100 (C)_

 _-_ Practical: _62/100 (D)_

 _-_ Theory: _86/100 (A)_

Herbology: _69/100 (D)_

 _-_ Practical: _62/100 (D)_

 _-_ Theory: _76/100 (C)_

History of Magic: _93/100 (A)_

Magical Geography: _96/100 (A)_

Magical Theory: _77/100 (C)_

Potions: _77/100 (C)_

 _-_ Practical: _70/100 (C)_

 _-_ Theory: _84/100 (B)_

Transfiguration: _83/100 (B)_

 _-_ Practical: _81/100 (B)_

 _-_ Theory: _85/100 (B)_

Total Marks: _1114/1400_

Average Mark: _79.6/100 (C)_

Number of Absent Days: _1.5_

Mira groaned at her scores. By  _Huangdi_ , her practical scores for Herbology and Combat Arts were absolutely appalling. She was drinking from her carton of lemon tea when she nearly spat it out onto the second piece of (now-)unrolled parchment.

_Dear Miss Yeung,_

_You have been invited to the Hogwarts-Causeway Exchange Programme, between Causeway Bay Enchantment Academy and Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry: the first Programme of the International Education Exchange._

_The exchange programme will take place during the duration of the 1995-1997 school years. You will attend Hogwarts with your fellow exchange students and be guided by an assigned Buddy in the next school year. In return, your Buddy will attend our Academy for the following school year._

_The details of the gathering of the exchange programme participants are listed below:_

Date: _9 September 1995_

Time: _14:00_

Venue: _Entrance Hall, Ministry of Magic_

_Your booklist for the year is included on your usual booklist. A viable excuse for your absence will be provided to your mundane school, but you will remain updated of your assignments and assessments by post. You must also take mid-year and final-year examinations during the Christmas holidays and the summer holiday to ensure that you are allowed to advance to your next level of mundane education._

_If you have any further inquiries, please return a message by owl._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Annabel TO Wai-Ying_

_Principal of Causeway Bay Enchantment Academy_

Mira's jaw dropped. She had signed up for the programme two-and-a-half months previously, but she was  _not_  expecting to be chosen.

 _Oh my_ Huangdi _, I'm going to Hogwarts. I'm going to_ Hogwarts _next year._

"Ah Bik, you got the exchange programme letter too?" Ara was peering over her shoulder, her dark (not quite Asian-dark though, probably her Black genes) eyes all but twinkling in curiosity and anticipation.

" _Nei doh yau meh?_ "

"Kitty  _tung ngo doh sau doh ah_ ," she continued. That was when Mira's mind went into overdrive (be it from shock, anticipation or joy is yet to be determined).  _Oh my_ Huangdi _, we're_ all _going to Hogwarts._

* * *

_B_ _ooklist of Yeung Mira Bik, Grade Four Sorceress_

_Note: Hogwarts-Causeway Exchange Programme Participant, Will be Studying as Fifth Year_

_Charms_

The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 5 _by Miranda Goshawk_

Over 1000 Sensational Spells, Volume 4  _by Phoenix I.S. Shum_

_Defense Against the Dark Arts (Combat Arts)_

Defensive Magical Theory _by Wilbert Slinkhard_

100 Dangerous Spells and How to Counter Them _by John Sanders_

_Herbology_

One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi _by Phyllida Spore_

Magical Plants Worldwide and their Properties  _by Ezra Tin_

_History of Magic_

A History of Magic _by Bathilda Bagshot_

New Generation of Magical History: Advanced  _by Reymond C. H. Chiang_

_Magical Geography_

International Magical Communities, Volume One  _by Spica L. Mo_

_Potions_

Magical Drafts and Potions _by Arsenius Jigger_

_Study of Ancient Runes_

Ancient Runes Made Easy  _by Laurenzoo_

Spellman's Syllabary  _by **(unconfirmed by canon)**_

Magical Hieroglyphs and Lolograms  _by **(unconfirmed by canon)**_

Ancient Chinese Hieroglyphs: the History of Chinese Characters and How They Can be Applied to Magic _by Lawrence S. T. Wu_

The Runic Guide (Intermediate) _by Sabrina Sylph_

_Transfiguration_

Intermediate Transfiguration _by Emeric Switch_

Appearance Alteration  _by Ashley Chan_

_Others/Reference Books_

_Note that the following books are not required._

The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 1  _by Miranda Goshawk_

The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 2  _by Miranda Goshawk_

The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 3  _by Miranda Goshawk_

The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 4  _by Miranda Goshawk_

The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection  _by Quentin Trimble_

The Essential Defence Against the Dark Arts _by Arsenius Jigger_

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them _by Newt Scamander_

Creatures of the World  _by Belle Seymour_

A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration  _by Emeric Switch_

Hogwarts: A History _by Bathilda Bagshot_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRANSLATION TIME!  
> Sun-huet - 純血 – literally pure-blood  
> San-huet - 新血 – literally new-blood, means mundane-born, or magical born of non-magical, British equivalent is muggleborn  
> Lok dei yuk - 落地獄 – literally go-down hell, basically "go to hell" (the more accurately Cantonese phrase would usually shortened to PK, but I'd rather use it elsewhere on more deserving…individuals, and saying the current phrase sounds a little more childish than PK)  
> Sei-huet - 死血 – literally death/dead-blood (note that 死 is also a Chinese equivalent of damn), British equivalent is m**blood  
> Nei doh yau meh? - 你都有咩? – Cantonese for "You have [it] too?" or "You also have [it]?"  
> Kitty tung ngo doh sau doh ah – Kitty 同我都收到呀 – Cantonese for "Kitty and I also received [it]."
> 
> As for Belle Seymour… "I want adventure in the great wide somewhere", anyone? I like to imagine Princess Belle from Beauty and the Beast as a witch with English heritage (hence the surname) who married a French nobleman whose curse she removed, and went investigating magical creatures with her husband around the world. Gaston, being the (mundane) buff b*stard he was, went chasing after her, but she set her familiar on him eventually. She didn't get in trouble with the law, because that man was an annoying piece of s**t that the magical community had been trying to get rid of for ages. Think of it as a little AU crossover that I can't be bothered to write in detail.


	4. Intervention III: Now that We're Friends (Of Sails and Foals)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More OCs are introduced, and the exchange students arrive at Hogwarts and meet their Buddies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm kind of sorry, but we'll have a rather large focus on my OC collection until Chapter 9, if I counted correctly. Forgive me. Chapter 9 has definite canon involvement, and major ones too, for some chapters.  
> Date of Writing: November 2018 (Post-UT)  
> Date of Typing/Editing: 12 & 14 November 2018  
> Warning: This chapter focuses more on the magical human perspective of the events of Intervention, but canon characters are also involved. Also, mild ignorance in terms of experience and knowledge on the characters' parts and possibly cultural ignorance on my part. Please forgive me if I get anything wrong or any characters OOC.

_1 September 1995_

"Finally," the Headmaster concluded in his speech, "it is my pleasure to inform you that our school is conducting an exchange programme with Causeway Bay Enchantment Academy of Hong Kong, a Dependent Territory of the United Kingdom." Gasps and shouts of confusion were heard throughout the Great Hall. Vela herself raised a blonde eyebrow, but stayed silent. Her mind, however, was whirring. _There's a wizarding school in that…wait, where_ is _Hong Kong anyway? What's the school like? Is it a beautiful palace with gardens of magical plants and creatures? By Merlin, are there any Fairies or Puffskeins on the campus?_

"Causeway Bay Enchantment Academy was founded in 1882 by Nick Kwan **(it's pronounced KWAHN, by the way, like /ɑ:/ - sorry not sorry that I speak English Phonetics as well, and it's the British kind too!)** and Antlia Black-Kwan, alumnus of our resident Slytherin House." That was when the fourth-year Slytherin's mind went into overdrive. _Holy snallygasters! Phineas Nigellus Black! His oldest sister's name was_ Antlia _Black! Her oldest child was Caelum Black II, author of_ Ancient Chinese Legends: Magical and Mundane _! "I would like to thank my father, Nick Chun Kwan and my mother, Antlia Black for assisting me with research on these tales, both magical and mundane, and moral support"! How could I have forgotten all that?_

Thankfully, Dumbledore paused for everyone in the Hall to digest what he had just said. "In order to promote cultural exchange between countries worldwide, magical schools around the globe will be hosting exchange students for a year and send the exchange students' voluntary guides to the other school for the next school year. Our current exchange has been chosen to kick-start the programme. Twelve volunteers from third to sixth year will be chosen to accompany the Causeway exchange students. Please report your name, year and house to Professor McGonagall or myself by Friday after receiving written permission from your parent or guardian if you are interested."

As the speech ended, Vela turned to her older brother. "Draco, do you want to join the programme?"

Draco turned his head and replied, "I'm afraid I'll be too busy studying for the OWLs, Vela. Do _you_ want to participate?" She nodded frantically in return, unlike the cool, calm Slytherin she was supposed to be. "Do you think Mother and Father will approve of my choice?"

"Mother and Father has always wanted us to learn to contribute to society. Learning diplomacy by establishing international connections can be greatly beneficial to our future." Then he turned to the first-years. "First-year Slytherins! First-year Slytherins, follow me!" Vela took that as a _yes_.

* * *

_8 September 1995_

Around a week later, the students and staff were gathered on the grounds of Hogwarts, waiting for the arrival of the Causeway visitors, in a way that would give one nostalgia to the Triwizard **(or should it have been Quadwizard, or even Tetrawizard?)** Tournament the previous year, before everything went to hell with the Fourth Champion drama.

There were three other individuals at the front of the crowd, other than the Headmaster and the volunteer Buddies. One was a 'young' man that looked as though he were merely in his early-to-mid-twenties, with ash blond hair and green eyes. There was another man who appeared slightly older than the blond that shared physical features with him. He had red hair (and we thought that the Weasleys were more than enough redheads at the school!), and slightly thicker eyebrows than the blond – which was saying something, as the latter's 'brows were so thick that no human could surpass their thickness without the assistance of magic – and appeared slightly more at home in the Scottish Highlands, where the school was. The last was a brunette with the appearance of a fourteen-year-old teen girl. She was wearing the Hogwarts uniform, but the robe lining and tie indicated that somehow, she hadn't been Sorted yet. Her arms were crossed in front of her chest, right foot tapping at a quick rhythm on the lawn.

The names that most knew them by were Arthur and Alistair Kirkland, and Caoimhe Blackwood.

Their _real_ names were England (or, formally, the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland **– God, that took** _ **quite**_ **a while to type out** ), Scotland and Hogwarts (School of Witchcraft and Wizardry).

As the minutes ticked by, a long shape…with wings…soared above the castle. Then followed another seven of the long things, all of them in different colours. The words "what?" and "Merlin!" (and their variations, such as "Merlin's saggy left buttock!") were definitely thrown around a lot.

"Are those…Occamies?" asked a voice from the Gryffindor crowd. I would apologize here, Hermione, that the answer to the question that you just asked is "no".

The first not-Occamy touched down in front of Professor Dumbledore and the trio of Personifications, who were now at the very front of the group. Vela finally got a closer look at the strange creatures. The first one resembled a giant snake, a Basilisk, even, at five metres **(16-17 feet)** in length, only with bat-like wings and brilliant scarlet python-esque scales. And no, it didn't have feet. Or legs. Or any limbs, as it seemed.

The first individual to alight from the not-Occamy looked like a teen boy of around fifteen to sixteen years in age, dressed in robes a shade of green so dark that it could almost be considered as black. The second – the _other_ – was a girl around Caoimhe's age in appearance, but was in fact much younger, with dark hair tied into a neat ponytail and black robes…who looked as though the only thing keeping her awake was copious overdoses of caffeinated drinks **(read: tea, coffee,** _ **yuenyeung**_ **and soft drinks)**.

" _Mm goi sai_ , Tai Hang," murmured the 'teen' boy, reaching to brush against the not-Occamy's…well, where the nostrils would be if "Tai Hang" were a normal snake. Its – or was it supposed to be _his_ or _her_? – head shifted as though to accept an embrace from the 'teen', burying into the outstretched hand.

The ones to get off from the next not-Occamy – this one a metallic gold one – were two women. One had her hair in a bun and wore dark blue robes. The other had shoulder-length hair (most likely dyed a lighter shade of brown) and had glasses. The other passengers – all of them teens aged thirteen to sixteen – too disembarked from their not-Occamies, two by two.

* * *

"Yeung, Ara," was paired with a Ravenclaw in her year – the half-blood called Juliet Wilson-Parker, also known as the Granger of her year – an absolutely proud know-it-all with a hyper personality.

"Yeung, Kitalpha," called Professor Dumbledore, then "Malfoy, Vela." She took note that "Yeung" is pronounced as YERNG, since it wouldn't do if she pronounced her Buddy's name wrong, though… _what a strange surname…wait, isn't Kitalpha the name of a star?_

"Kitalpha" stepped out from the very much dwindling crowd of exchange students – there was only one girl left. She wasn't all that bad-looking – quite the opposite, as a matter of fact. Her tanned-oriental **(as in, East Asian 'yellow', as us Chinese say)** face was framed by sleek, dark – almost black – hair that fell to her collarbones, deep brown eyes piercing into her own grey-blue. She was wearing a black windcheater-jacket, her school emblem – a gold and black Hippogriff over a white circle, the letters CBEA in where north, west, south, east would be on a compass – proudly shown on the left side of her chest. That plus a black skirt, dark blue socks and shiny black leather flats. _She does look a little tired though…has she had enough sleep?_

She nodded her head as she was in front of her. "Good evening, Miss…Malfoy. I am Yeung Kitalpha Pui, tertiary Heiress of the House of Yeung, descendant of the Houses of Mo, Ha, Tang, Kwan, Black, etc. Pleasure to meet you."

 _Only a true pureblood would introduce themself with their titles!_ Vela's heart leapt in joy. _Hold on a moment, did she just say she's descended from the House of Black?_

Yet she responded anyway. "Vela Narcissa Acacia Malfoy, secondary Heiress of the House of Malfoy, descendant of the Houses of Black, Rosier, Crabbe, Bulstrode and Flint."

"Wait, _Black_?" Kitalpha's eyes were wide, like brown-black Galleons. "How _are_ you related to the Blacks?" Vela smiled in return.

"My mother was born Narcissa Black, and I'd like to ask _you_ the same question, Miss Yeung," she retorted, almost gently, making sure to pronounce her Buddy's family name correctly.

Kitalpha looked as though she were caught off-guard, but soon her features were schooled once more. "My great-great-great-grandmother is Antlia Black, founder of my school. One of her brothers was Phineas Nigellus Black, whom I believe was the Headmaster of your school many years ago." Then she sighed.

"What, Miss Yeung?"

"She's gone. Gone for about around four decades before I was born. She's nice though. Her portrait's in the Mo family Ancestral Hall. I've talked to her at Lunar New Year sometimes. She has given me many tips."

It turned out that the two men, the unsorted girl and the teen with the not-Occamy were international diplomats there to oversee the first exchange programme. Vela was fine with that, only that she felt a…connection of sorts to the blond, and Kitalpha felt attachment to the guy with the red "fire-serpent" (as she called it). Neither of them had any idea what was up with them, but both of them decided, _oh well_.

Their discussion carried on well until the feast (for the exchange students) was over, when Vela had to retreat to her dorm and Kitalpha to her sisters and fellow exchange students. It honestly felt like the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRANSLATION: Mm goi sai – Thank you (for a service) – polite [Cantonese]


	5. Lion Cubs II: Don't Think, Just Run (Southern Yue)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An introduction to an obscure figure in the history of the Personification of Hong Kong (as well as Macau and Vietnam) - the Kingdom of Nanyue. Also covers ancient(ish) history of Hong Kong. Historical chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, well, well. Famous people have been dying left and right recently, haven't they? Jin Yong...Stan Lee...George H. W. Bush...RIP.  
> Date of Writing: 2 November 2018 (Original Draft), 29 November 2018 (Rewritten Final Version)  
> Date of Typing and Editing: 29 November 2018  
> Warning: Chinese history. And lots of it. Also note that some of the translations may be inaccurate (due to a lack of resources) and there may be mild historical inaccuracy. Plus, Cantonese (Yale Romanization) and a very complicated family situation.  
> Note: All dialogue is spoken in some Chinese tongue or another. Most likely Middle Chinese, since it was the official language of the time. This has been translated into English…mostly. I'm using the Cantonese translations because apparently, Cantonese is the closest thing we have to Middle Chinese – the official language of the Tang and Song Dynasties. Except the names.

_Late Southern_ Sòng _Dynasty (Mid-late 1270s)_

They were on the run.

Nanyue, her officials and her little Emperor were staying in this tiny portion of her territory, south of the hill topped with the rock formation shaped like a stripe-less tiger with long hair along his head and neck. They had named the place _Gau Lung_ , nine dragons, for there were eight hills – _dragons_ in the area alongside Emperor Bing.

She feared that they had reached the end.

That _she_ had reached the end.

She was born as the southern lands of the region, close by the great seas which led to island archipelagos even further south. She had fought against her adopted older brother, _Yào_ , many times before: when he was the _Qín_ and the Western _Hàn_ , in which she coined her true Nation name but was officially taken into Han rule; then the Three Kingdoms period, the Southern and Northern Dynasties to the _Suí_ Dynasty and the Five Dynasties and Ten Kingdoms period. You see, the _Sòng_ Dynasty had been a peculiar situation.

Once, her brother had a great rival known as _Xiōngnú_ , from the times when he was _Qín_ , whom he had fought countless wars against, but she heard that the two had got married sometime during the earlier stages of the Southern and Northern Dynasties. He had dissolved (read: passed away) since then, though not without leaving three children behind: Mongolia, now Great _Yuán_ ; Kitán, now not-quite Great _Liáo_ , Western _Liáo_ or Qara Khitai, formerly Great _Liáo_ or the _Liáo_ Dynasty/Empire; and Jurchen Jīn.

During the Northern _Sòng_ , Jurchen _Jīn_ formed the Alliance Conducted at Sea with _Yào_ to defeat Kitán, who accepted. After they (read: Jurchen, since _Yào_ didn't have the strength to fight then) drove Kitán westward, weakened, Jurchen broke the Alliance and her brother had been missing since 1127, the year the Northern _Sòng_ fell to the Jurchen _Jīn_ forces. As a Nation, she knew that it was no coincidence, and from the rumours that she had heard from the North…to put it lightly, it was _not_ pretty.

Even before the _Sòng_ – from before the _Hàn_ , to be exact – nature had established the order of things in the area: her brother reigned the North while she ruled the South. Looking back, history might have been Foreshadowing, after all these centuries, that she would become the Personification of the Southern _Sòng_.

Politics were…let's just say that she was thankful and suddenly sympathetic to her (adopted) brother, who handled them before…you know. Yuè Fēi – or _Ngohk Fēi_ , as she knew him – her best general – and a Sorcerer to boot – was killed under the orders of some sh**ty (read: f**king corrupt) mundane politicians, such as and this Emperor who wanted to stay in power (as Yuè Fēi wanted to retake the North, which she supported) in prison for charges known as _mò xū yǒu_ ("perhaps there is" or "no reason needed" for English translation). They had to sign the _Treaty of Shaoxing_ for peace not long after that, and it was despicable.

Then she got into an alliance with Mongolia to take down Jurchen. They ended up driving him northeast into the mountains, but…northern stupidity was probably contagious, as she pretty much _made the freaking exact same mistake as her brother_. So now Mongolia – no, Great _Yuán_ now – was out for blood. _Her_ blood.

Western _Xià_ and _Kitán_ had both died at his hand, and since Mongolia got his hands on Jurchen first, her brother now being at that traitorous, backstabbing b@stard's hands was the most probable theory that she had…and she was too scared to picture it in her head.

Why she had come this way, she had absolutely no idea, except for the fact that her instincts were guiding her this way. _Perhaps this place is destined to be special?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I actually had to rewrite this entire chapter because I suddenly had the urge to change things up quite a bit. I originally intended for China to rep the Southern Sòng, but I read 10 Dark Secrets Of The Mongol Empire on ListVerse and suddenly had a plot bunny hopping around my mind. I also apologize if you got bored during the history lesson, but it's better for you to understand the situation.  
> Gau Lung is now Kowloon. The "hill topped with the rock formation shaped like a stripe-less tiger with long hair along his head and neck" is Lion Rock Hill.  
> Xiōngnú represented the "Five Barbarians" (tribes?). He carried this as his Nation name because the Xiōngnú was the most significant tribe in early Chinese history. The marriage represented the Sinofication policies of the Northern Dynasties during that period of time. Since Xiōngnú was losing his culture to China, he was gone sometime around/between the Suí and Táng Dynasties. This is my headcanon, at least.  
> The idea that Yuè Fēi was a wizard belongs to me.  
> Nanyue was the Personification of the Kingdom of Nanyue, which was established as the Qín Dynasty fell and was dissolved when the Kingdom was conquered by the Western Hàn army. She went on to represent the southern lands of whatever Dynasty China was going through, or whichever role she was required to play (in the South, of course). She began weakening in the Táng Dynasty, when the northern and southern cultures began merging. Her human name was 趙荷芬 – CHIU Ho-fun (Cantonese), or Zhào Héfēn (Pinyin).  
> Nanyue literally means southern Yue, hence the chapter title.  
> Little did dear Nanyue know that indeed, the land she was standing on was destined to stand out…  
> Anyways, thank you for reading, and hopefully I will update ASAP. The next two Intervention chapters (IV and V) are already written, and I'm writing Intervention VII right now…because Intervention VI is kind of a summary of what happened between V and VII. Please leave comments and kudos...and subscribe to stay updated on the content! (That is, if you wish to.)  
> -Talons


	6. Intervention IV: I Finally Understand (Cammi Kam and Professor A. R. Heathers)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new day at Hogwarts. We are introduced to more OCs. Canonical involvement will be minimal (but still exists) until Chapter 8-9.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, we have surpassed 100 hits. Yes, guys!  
> Date of Writing: 11 November – Before December 2018  
> Date of Typing and Editing: 1-2 December 2018 (Partially while my Internet was down)  
> Warning: Kind of general…not as much plot-relevant details. Only character building. Also, I don't know if the tents of today existed back in the 90s, and I know for sure that Spongebob Squarepants wasn't broadcasted 'til 1999, but forgive me. The opportunities were too good to pass up. Plus mild language, a flashback (mostly translated from Cantonese into English for you) and Cantonese.

_Monday, 11 September 1995_

Mira woke in her bed, in the tent set up on the grounds. It wasn't a very big tent, but it was quite cozy…and modern. On the outside, it appeared to be a tiny dome of black nylon, like it were just the sleeping quarters of a couple of campers. On the inside, however, was a decent four-room microflat dorm with four bunk-beds, a small bathroom and a sitting room area.

She changed into a teal turtleneck and her school windcheater (plus a Warming Charm…this is the  _Scottish Highlands_ , not the subtropics) before stepping out of the tent to the Great Hall (she remembered the way), yawning half the way – after all, she was still adjusting to the time zones. She brushed her fingers over the jade necklace-pendant over the dip in between her collarbones. It was a gift from her maternal grandmother, whom had said that it was an ancient family heirloom – not Xia-Dynasty-ancient, but still pretty old.

When she got to the Great Hall, she noticed that her Buddy, Leanne MacFusty was chatting at the Gryffindor Table with her best friend, Katie Bell, whom was accompanied by her own Buddy – Sasha, if her memory served correctly. Then she saw her own best friend, Cammi Kam at the Ravenclaw Table.  _Her_  Buddy, Amanda Brocklehurst was busy shoveling sunny side-up eggs into her mouth while furiously flipping through the pages of  _A History of Magic_. She took a seat behind her best friend at the Hufflepuff Table.

" _Zou san_ , Cammi." Cammi turned from her seat at the Ravenclaw Table, replying, " _Zou sah ah_ ,  _Ah Bik_!  _Nei zap cai yeh mei ah_?" Pinkish pimples were dotted all over her forehead and nose. Mira took a slice of toast with butter and strawberry jam from the Breakfast Buffet.

"You're not my  _ma_. Don't worry about me."

"I  _ehm_   _oh-da den_ you, so  _eet ees_  my...re-spon- _see_ - _bee_ -lity to  _tick_  care of you," her best friend insisted. She lightly facepalmed.

" _Ngo m zoi hai BB wor_."

" _Nei zung hai ngo ah mui ah_."

"Not by blood," Mira pointed out.

"Family don't have to have blood relation," Cammi gently retorted, running her fingers through Mira's ponytail.

Mira had met Cammi when she first started at Causeway, but then they found that they went to the same secondary school, though in different classes. The girl, who was only three months and a week older than her, had claimed her as a younger sister/best friend less than three months into her friendship, though it took months for her to open up. In fact, she had only learnt the reason why Cammi treated her so one Friday recess that April at secondary school.

" _I can't have little siblings," Cammi explained, her face morose. Mira had cornered her 'sister' for a heart-to-heart, after she was found sobbing over…well, she couldn't quite remember already, but it_ had _to have been bad if they made_ Cammi _of all people cry. They were at secondary school at that time._

" _My_ ma _left my_ ba _when I was six. I found that when_ Ah Ba  _had to work late, she had brought home this other man named Doyle."_  Cammi's dad worked at some  _cha chaan teng_  about four or five streets away from their flat in Sheung Wan.  _"I told_ Ah Ba  _that they were making strange noises all night once – they had kept me awake and I fell asleep in my first three classes the next day and got shouted at by my teacher. They divorced two months after I told him. It's all my fault…I can't have a proper family…later that year, my teacher told us to do a project on our families. We had to make profiles of three family members. Since my_ ah ba _'s_ ma _was gone before I was born – because of an accident, I think – and my_ ba _'s two little brothers were at work overseas, they couldn't spare any time to help me with my project…"_

"Chun choi _, they didn't divorce because of you. They did because your_ ma _was cheating on your_  ba _with this Doyle. You didn't know that your_ ma _was unfaithful, and you're_ not _the reason why they separated." Mira's voice changed to a pleading tone. "It's been eight years,_ Tsz Ying _. It's not your fault. You don't have to ask for forgiveness. Get over it…_ m goi lah _,_ Gah Jeh _…"_ That was the first time she had ever acknowledged this relationship with Cammi, and hopefully would be the last.  _Then the bell signaling the end of recess rang. They returned to their classrooms for their respective lessons, and as Mira noticed, her 'sister' looked like a weight was lifted off her shoulders._

That was when over a hundred owls swooped into the Great Hall. One of her fellow exchange students – the small one that looked more like a primary school graduate than the Form Two kid that he really was – let out a high-pitched scream and ducked underneath the Gryffindor Table. From what she had heard, that boy was a new-blood. She just hoped that the poor kid would be able to survive life as a wizard. Perhaps he would choose to continue his education in a mundane university as opposed to HKUSE – the Hong Kong University of Sorcery and Enchantment, or get a mundane job.  _At least, it is be the path that involved the least owls…unless he chooses to work at some wildlife park or avian sanctuary. That will be stupid._

A barn owl landed in front of her – the one carrying her copy of the  _Daily Prophet_  (a subscription was included in the exchange student package) – as well as the one with her copy of  _Bauhinia Daily_. As she flipped open her copy of the latter newspaper, the two owls simultaneously did their business on the Buffet sausages and on the congee that one of the other exchange students was eating.

" _Yau mo gau chor_?!" shouted the exchange student – Andy Tong, if her memory served her correctly. Oh, yes, he was the son of Edmund Tong, owner of Tong Kee Tim Ban (湯記甜品) – more commonly known as Tong's Desserts among foreign tourists. Cammi's dad had brought her and Cammi there once to celebrate Cammi's thirteenth birthday. The rumours were true – they made the  _best_  red bean soup in town. She had also seen him when he visited her family's wand shop.

"Pear and  _deihlùhng_  whisker, 30cm  **(approx. 12")** , slightly swishy," her father had told Andy. She was watching in the distance, practising  _Avifors_  and Switching Spells. She noticed as his eyes met hers, which quickly averted to his wand. That was the first time they had met. It was a bit awkward when they started going to Causeway (thank  _Huangdi_  they went to a different mundane school, or it would be even more awkward).

She turned to her copy of the  _Daily Prophet_.

 _MINISTRY SEEKS EDUCATION REFORM_ , the headlines screamed,  _DOLORES UMBRIDGE APPOINTED FIRST EVER HIGH INQUISITOR_.

"What the hell…" Mira muttered, reading the article further. "What is wrong with employing werewolves and half-giants?" Granted, werewolves didn't really have first-class treatment at home (though there  _was_ a charity that supplied cheap Wolfsbane Potion for them, and hospitals charged less for them the day after every full moon – and that's about it, really), and she had  _no idea_  that giants could do  _that_  with humans (she suddenly had a great desire to burn that thought with Fyrserpent acid), but those two seemed to be actively prejudiced against here.

Their first class was Transfiguration, in which they had to vanish mice…which was technically animal cruelty (they practised with cheap ball pens at home), Mira's mind pointed out, but  _oh well, the things we do for education_. After stepping out of Classroom 1B, with an essay on Vanishing Spells (she hadn't learnt them yet, so it was certainly…enlightening) to complete, she and the Hufflepuffs (well, most of them – three or four of them headed off somewhere else…their Common Room?) went to the grounds, gathering with a dozen or so Ravenclaws near a small house that belonged to "Hagrid", as Leanne explained. "He's our Care of Magical Creatures Professor, but apparently he's away for a mission from Dumbledore."

Even though Mira didn't choose to take Magizoology, she  _did_  want to see what the Hogwarts equivalent of the subject was.

That was when Professor Abigail Roxanne Heathers stepped into the field. She was quite tall – only slightly shorter than Ernie Macmillian (who was close to 6 feet tall in the Imperial System)…maybe by five or so centimetres  **(around 2")**. Her chestnut-coloured hair was tied back into a single braid. To the surprise of most of the students around her, she was wearing mundane clothing – overalls and brown combat boots over a horizontally striped shirt.

"Are ya ready, kids?" she shouted. A few pairs of eyes lit up. Cue Ernie, Susan Bones and over half the class – probably raised without (or with little) mundane influence – looking as though thinking in unison,  _what the hell is going on? Am I missing something?_

"Aye, aye, Captain!" the ones with relative mundane upbringing yelled back.

"I can't hear you!" The grin on her face was playful and teasing.

"Aye, aye, Captain!" the responders repeated, Mira included, a little louder this time. Professor Heathers placed her hands on her hips and laughed. "Well, look who knows their no-maj pop culture, eh?" The (primarily) magical-raised glanced at each other, probably wondering what the hell  _no-maj_  meant.

"Anyways," she continued, "welcome, or welcome back to Care of Magical Creatures. In case you forgot or don't know, I'm Professor Gale Heathers, and we re-visited Hippogriffs last week. This week –"

" _Hem hem_."

And the first words that came to Mira's mind were  _holy_ Huangdi _, that lady looks like an oversized pink toad_. Indeed she did. At the back of the group was a woman with mousy hair and a striking resemblance to an amphibian. She was dressed in pink robes and a dainty matching bow sat at the top of her head.

"Good morning, Professor Heathers. I hope that you have received my message that I am inspecting this class," the Pink Toad trilled. Her voice was high-pitched, flighty and girly, but in no way pleasant – it reminded her of several  _chengyu_  that she had learnt in Chinese class throughout the years, especially  _siu lui cong doh_  and  _hau mut fuk gim_.

"I have,  _High Inquisitor_  Umbridge," replied Professor Heathers, as her turquoise eyes averted to the other woman. "Now, 'cuz you're a guest here just to observe the lesson, I would like you to stay back and not disturb us. Fyrserpents are rather easily startled, and there are grievous consequences if they get jump-scared. My classmate in college did that. He had to visit the Healing Faculty's Medical Wing and couldn't use his wand arm for weeks. That Dorcus didn't even listen to Professor Kwong, and he's not freaking deaf either. Thank Merlin he didn't graduate. Professor Kwong let it slip that it's 'cause of that stunt he pulled. Last I heard from that Dorcus, he left to work in Southeast Asia, and good riddance to him!"

Mira could see the confused looks on everyone else's faces. Probably wondering why the hell there can be a male Dorcus…excluding this boy with ginger-brown hair. Leanne had told her his name, Terry Boot, and advised her to go to him if she had trouble with Potions and/or Charms; as well as this other blond Ravenclaw called Anthony Goldstein. Their faces were serious, as though they were both having a  _note-to-self (don't mess with Fyrserpents)_  moment. "High Inquisitor Umbridge" herself looked as though she had bitten into an especially sour lemon – not the mature/explicit-and-above (M-rating or above for FFN) kind, you depraved fan. (Then again, she  _would_  have looked like that if she saw two guys going at it.) Probably 'cos she couldn't interrupt the lesson with pointless rambling so that she could disturb the Professor, portray her in a negative light in official eyes and  _chao kui yau yu_.

"What's a…Fire-serpent?" asked a Ravenclaw with a blackhead on his nose. "I've read  _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_  and  _The Monster Book of Monsters_ , but the Fire-serpent isn't anywhere to be found in either one of those books!" Murmurs of agreement broke out throughout the not-classroom.

"For Merlin's sake," she heard Professor Heathers mutter, before passing around copies of paper (yes, I mean  _paper_ , not old-fashioned parchment) notes. Mira took a single look at her copy and instantly recognized it as the section on Fyrserpents in  _Creatures of the World_.

 _The Fyrserpent, or the_ Pun Fo Seh _in Cantonese,_ Feuerschlange _in German or_ Pēnhuǒshé _in Mandarin Chinese, is a highly endangered magical reptile. They are known for their bat-like wings, vivid scale colours and highly acidic breath, which erupts from their mouths as a substance akin to flames._

 _The Fyrserpent was first discovered by ancient Chinese magicals and first recorded as_ Téngshé _by nonmagical Confucianists in the 4_ _th_ _century BCE. Over time, the Fyrserpent has moved south due to hunting by "Barbarians" from the north, and some have begun to migrate to Germania, or present-day Germany. The migrated Fyrserpents return to their homeland every autumn, which has violated the_ International Statute of Wizarding Secrecy _multiple times after its establishment._

 _During the 20_ _th_ _century, after mundane first Chairman of the People's Republic of China, Mao Zedong began the persecution of magicals during the 1950s, the Fyrserpent has almost been hunted into extinction in the Mainland of China. The ones which have fled to the British colony of Hong Kong, the Portuguese colony of Macau and the (self-proclaimed) independent Republic of China (also known as Taiwan) remained unharmed and were placed into reserves there. Those that didn't leave the Mainland were promptly placed into reserves in the Hainan Province in China to prevent their extinction in the Mainland. Only after Deng Xiaoping came to power and tried to fix the chaos left behind by the mundane 'Cultural Revolution' did the Ministries of Magic of Hong Kong, Macau and Taiwan, as well as the Chinese Council of Magic, work together to return the Fyrserpent to the wild._

_The scales of the Fyrserpent vary in colours, the most common being purple. Their equivalent to 'albino' is having bright golden scales. The scales are occasionally used as a wand core, which produce wands with fiery, temperamental personalities and an affinity for grey and dark magic, as well as that for the elements of fire and air. Its highly corrosive breath is a Class B Tradeable Material and is used as a major ingredient of the Draught of Deterioration, a potion used for the execution of criminals awarded with the death penalty by the Magical Congress of the United States of America._

"I have never heard of this Fyrserpent before. Can you please inform me of its Classification in the British Ministry of Magic in order for us to register it into our system?" came that Toad's sickeningly sweet voice. Mira was already sick of her. Professor Heathers snorted. "If I were you, I would rank it XXXX, because experts have been able to train Fyrserpents, and one has succeeding in Bonding with his, though they are still quite precarious to be around because no Fyrserpent can be 100% controlled. I witnessed one kill a goat while his handler's back was turned. Goriest thing I've seen. And yeah, it's worse than the Dorcus that failed college with that stunt."

High Inquisitor Umbridge's face looked as though she was concealing a thunderstruck (rage variant) expression. Just as she started scribbling down stuff on her clipboard, Professor Heathers snorted. "Don't you freaking rant to me  _aboot_  why they are too dangerous for fifth-years. Last time I heard, there were  _dragons_ here last year at the Triwizard Tournament – or is it  _Quadwizard_? Or even  _Tetrawizard_? Boy, do you Brits even know how to count?  _Those_  are XXXXX creatures. As in,  _even more dangerous than Fyrserpents_. As long as the kids follow our instructions, our temporarily resident Fyrserpents won't even hurt a freaking Doxy."

"The Ministry does not require students to know of magical creatures outside of their textbooks. They do not concern them," High Inquisitor Umbridge tried to justify.  _Yeah, right. That's like placing an invisible glass barrier so that we children can't reach the great skies above us. That's probably why magicals haven't made any space-related advancements yet, other than sheer ignorance and lack of resources for those who do._

"That's just discouraging them from looking outside the box into the freaking real world," scoffed Professor Heathers, before going on once again, "Anyways, I have invited  _another_  special guest to our class today. He's that expert that managed to Bond with a Fyrserpent. How he did that, I have  _no_  idea." The way she said that last sentence…she could tell that it was a complete lie. "You can come out now, Mr. H–Wong-Kirkland."

Then out came the diplomat that somehow reminded her of…home. It was as though she had known the young man – whom looked barely older than her, as well as the rest of the class – all her life. Even from a few metres away, he faintly smelt of some kind of flower, seawater (though they were nowhere near the ocean), incense smoke, milk tea, the wood in her  _lo dou_ 's wand workshop and…a hint of vehicle emission?

Mr. Wong-Kirkland proceeded to show them his Fyrserpent Familiar, Tai Hang –  _isn't that a place name back at home? Why would he name his Familiar for a place?_  – and briefly introduced them to the rest of the flock. They (the students) were then asked to make a rough sketch of their assigned Fyrserpent, of the eight, and write an essay on the history and physical and magical properties of Fyrserpents. "And guys, you can't just copy from the book – I'll know. You gotta look up stuff that's  _not_  in the notes I gave you. If you copy from anyone, whoever with the balls or guts or whatever to do that gets a one-way ticket to detention with me. On  _Saturday_. As in, an  _all-day_  detention. I already had to hand out tickets to a couple of stupid Snakes last week. I bet they're scarred for life. Metaphorically, of course – I won't go so low to  _physically_  make a mark of my students."

She seemed to place emphasis on the work  _physically_ , as though…she had found out that someone was hurt physically during detention.

 _Or she experienced it herself,_  her mind supplied.

She  _did_ , though, overhear a conversation between the three non-students in the class.

"You don't usually teach this class, do you, Professor Heathers?" inquired that very annoying Toad voice.

"Nah, I'm just substituting for Professor Hagrid," came the reply.

"And, do you happen to know where Professor Hagrid may be right now?"

"Nope, not a single idea. Maybe he's going on an extended vacation."

"I was unable to find you name in the Hogwarts attendance records or any records at all in the Ministry. Do you have an explanation for this?"

"I went to Ilvermorny School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in the United States for my magical schooling. And in case you're gonna ask for my qualifications, I've gotten two Sorceress' Academic Degrees in college, one of them for Magizoology. I took this job to get my third in Education."

"I see." High Inquisitor Umbridge scribbled something down on her notes, then turned to speak to the diplomat. "And you are…"

"Leon Wong-Kirkland," the 'teen' replied, though Mira strongly suspected that he wasn't a teen at all, "International Ambassador for the Hong Kong Government, as well as Advisor to the Minister of Magic."  _WHAT._  Her eyes fleetingly gazed at the trio. The Toad's face had twisted itself into a frown. "How old  _are_  you, exactly?"

"Older than you think I am," the slightly monotonous answer came. She stifled a chuckle at that.

"Where did you receive your magical education?"

"Here," Mr. Wong-Kirkland gestured to the castle in the distance. "I was a Slytherin, though the Sorting Hat  _did_  consider Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff." He said it with a certainty that she couldn't detect a lie in his statement.

"Oh, I was a member of Slytherin House too. What a coincidence." She reached out to shake his hand, and he did, though when Umbridge pulled back, she seemed like she was checking if she still had circulation in her fingers.

"Your last name is  _Wong Kirkland_?" And the interrogation went on.

"Hyphenated," Mr. Wong-Kirkland replied, though sounding considerably more forced than before. "I was… _adopted_  by Arthur Kirkland in my…younger years." The word  _adopted_  was said in a way as though he wasn't very happy about it. Mira wondered what happened to make it seem that way.

"I see."

* * *

After lunch came History of Magic, which was taught by some ghost professor, whom lectured about giant wars and that alone.  _How exactly_ is _this cow dung related to modern magical society?_  The question echoed throughout Mira's brain, as well as random quotes recently made while she mindlessly leafed through the pages of her (mundane) Geography textbook.

" _Don't you freaking rant to me_ aboot _why they are too dangerous for fifth-years. Last time I heard, there were_ dragons _here last year at the Triwizard Tournament – or is it_ Quadwizard _? Or even_ Tetrawizard _? Boy, do you Brits even know how to count?_ Those _are XXXXX creatures. As in,_ even more dangerous than Fyrserpents _. As long as the kids follow our instructions, our temporarily resident Fyrserpents won't even hurt a freaking Doxy."_

" _That's just discouraging them from looking outside the box into the freaking real world."_

" _Older than you think I am."_

" _She's an_ inquisitor _alright. What the Rappaport_ is _this, the Spanish Inquisition? Next thing we know, we'll be subjected to the Judas Cradle or something for not meeting the dumbasses' 'qualifications'!"_

She followed Leanne to Defense Against the Dark Arts about an hour later, where she sat two desks away from what some people called "the Golden Trio: - the (in)famous Harry Potter and his two best friends, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger.

Mira had read from  _Bauhinia Daily_  that in late June that year, Harry had won the  _Tri_ wizard Tournament as the  _fourth_  Champion (she had agreed with Professor Heathers before she even made that comment –  _are Brits really_ this _bad at Maths?!_ ), but his fellow Hogwarts Champion, Cedric Diggory died in the last Task. Apparently, he also claimed that this Dark wizard called Lord Voldemort was back from the dead. Personally, she didn't believe it much, but  _who knows what the capabilities of the Dark Arts can extend to?_

" _Hem hem_."

 _Oh no, not that b!tch again…_ her mind whimpered, but lo and behold, the Toad Queen was teaching this class.  _Fan-_ f**king _-tastic_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRANSLATION TIME, and there's quite a bit too!  
> * Zou san – good morning [Cantonese]  
> * Nei zap cai yeh mei ah? – Have you packed everything? [Cantonese]  
> * Ma – mom (one of the ways of saying that) [Cantonese]  
> * Ah Ba, ba and lo dou – dad (three of the ways to say that) [Cantonese]  
> * I ehm oh-da den you, so eet ees my...re-spon-see-bee-lity to tick care of you. – I am older than you, so it is my responsibility to take care of you. [English with a kinda heavy Cantonese accent]  
> * Ngo m zoi hai BB wor. – But I am not a baby anymore. [Cantonese]  
> * Nei zung hai ngo ah mui ah. – You are still my little sister. [Cantonese]  
> * Cha chaan teng – Hong Kong style café [Cantonese  
> * Chun choi – idiot, stupid (person) [Cantonese]  
> * M goi lah, Gah Jeh – Please, big sister. (in pleading tone) [Cantonese]  
> * Yau mo gau chor?! – Oh, come on! Or, are you kidding me? [Cantonese]  
> * Deihlùhng – Dilong, subspecies of Imperial Dragon (original magical creature) [Cantonese Yale Romanization]  
> * Chengyu – Chinese idioms, usually with four characters [Putonghua]  
> * Siu lui cong doh – 笑裡藏刀 – literally 'hiding a knife/dagger in a smile', meaning is to 'hide malice and murderous intent behind a friendly/smiling exterior'. [Cantonese]  
> * Hau mut fuk gim - 口蜜腹劍 – literally mouth sweet/honey stomach/abdomen sword', meaning is to 'have a honeyed tongue to conceal malicious intentions'. [Cantonese]  
> * Chao kui yau yu - 炒佢魷魚 – literally to 'stir-fry him/her squid', meaning is to 'fire/sack [her]' (note: slang) [Cantonese]  
> * Pēnhuǒshé and Pun Fo She – literally 'spray fire snake' [Putonghua and Cantonese, respectively]  
> * Feuerschlange – literally 'fire serpent' (note: Google Translate, may be unreliable [German]
> 
> A/N: Over 3800 words of content, and over 4200 words in total this chapter! Wow! And I'm sorry for inducing boredom or anything. I was typing and editing this chapter for hours, until past 1am! I hope that my hard work paid off! Please review, fave and follow, if you want to! I want this fic to reach 5 reviews by the time I upload next chapter. (I know I was only supposed to upload this at 3 reviews, but forgive me, I know you want me to update sooner.)


	7. Intervention V: I Don't Need Your Authority (The Prank War Begins)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title says all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so freaking sorry that this has taken so long. This one is also mostly about my OCs. More emphasis will be placed on the upcoming chapters. I've also been dealing with some health issues recently – the most prominent one being coughing phlegm every other second. I'm getting better though, so don't worry about me.  
> Date of Writing: Before 28 November 2018  
> Date of Typing and Editing: 4, 6 and 13 December 2018  
> Warning: *Not much, really. Yay!*  
> Note: Rome's song is canon, not mine. However, the Nokia 232 was indeed a 90s phone and paintball was invented in the 1980s.

That night, Gale was talking to her home Nation (on her father's side) when she was…rudely interrupted by a loud crash.

" _Maple_! What was that?"

"Uhhh…gimme a moment, Mr. Canada," Gale said hurriedly, "I'll be back soon. Talk to you later! Bye!" Her finger shot up to the end call button. Her Nokia 232…they thought that electronic devices couldn't function around magic…what a load of hippogriff dung. It _did_ cost her quite a small fortune, but it was completely worth it to carve three runes onto it so that it ran on magic instead of on battery.

She tugged open the door and found…

… _What in the name of Isolt Sayre are these desks doing here?_

Indeed, there were three or four wood-topped desks with metal support and legs – the kind that one would find in a classroom – stacked up on top of each other, blocking her way to the corridor. She levitated the stack aside (they were stuck together, one on top of the other, with a Sticking Charm, and she couldn't be bothered to remove them one by one)…and next to that 'structure' was one almost identical to it on all the sides that didn't lead into her office/living quarters.

"Holy moly, what the spell is going on here?" she asked rhetorically as she resisted facepalming in frustration. She had only been teaching for less than two weeks! (Though it was a truly frustrating prank…she grudgingly admired whoever that thought this up.)

"Professor Heathers? Is that you?" A voice managed to make its way around the desk stockpile to her ears.

"Yes, it is me, Miss Shafiq." She could practically hear the teenagers glance at each other. She knew that she never addressed students by their surnames (last names) unless they were in trouble, and she had made sure that the kids kew that too. "What are you doing out here in the halls after curfew?" Gale immediately Banished the desk piles between her and the students. " _Lumos_." Her wand tip lit up immediately.

"Well, _these_ two idiots," here she finally noticed Marcella "Marcy" Shafiq pointing at the girl and boy on either side of her. There was another girl – one of the exchange students – standing next to the other girl, "thought that it was a good idea to prank the Defense Corridor by stacking desks in front of the classroom door. _Then_ they decided to do that to _every_ corridor possible and dragged me and Chelsea along with them."

"Thank you, Marcy. Forty points from Gryffindor for violating curfew and causing general inconvenience." Geez, _now_ she knew what her Professors felt that time when she dumped hot chocolate, marshmallows and whipped cream all over the girls' bathrooms on the second floor. "Now who made that loud crash?"

"Uh, me, Miss _-y_. I make that fall down," admitted the exchange student, Chelsea. She was pointing at a collapse set of medieval steel armour.

"I can see that," Gale pointed out, then it seemed as though a light bulb had lit up in her head. "How many halls did you prank so far?" She flicked her wand – applewood and shadow wolf fur, the wandmaker had told her – and the set of armour reassembled itself.

"Only the Charms Corridor, the Defense Corridor and yours," replied the third girl in the group – the one next to Marcy, whose copper hair was tied into a pair of braids **(pigtails in British English)**. Her cobalt eyes were glinting with regret under the light of the _Lumos_ of their wands. Tansy Hayter, her colleagues had told her of. "Always causing trouble. Like a miniature girl version of the Weasley twins."

"Alright," Gale straightened herself to her full height, "Imma help ya, eh?"

"What?" asked the only boy in the group. She swore that he looked like a bemused Golden Retriever in human form, with his golden blond locks and wide dark eyes. _Of course Gold's confused – no teacher does that. I mean, other than Professor Maddox, but he's always been a weirdo. Remember that day when he set the training dummies to shoot paintballs instead of spells?_

"Yep," she finally responded, popping the 'p'. "Don't you wanna see that _Toad_ of a High Inquisitor regret her decision to return to Hogwarts and start talking trash?"

"Okay, ma'am! What do we do?" Tansy asked eagerly.

"Get all the desks _and chairs_ and stack them in the Defense Hall and _that alone_. Fill the room wi' 'em. Stick 'em to the ceiling, the walls, anywhere _except_ where it's s'posed to be. Oh, and let toads loose in the room. Let everyone know toads are taking over the school."

"That's _genius_ ," whispered Gold, "but where do we _get_ the toads?"

" _Bin ying lor_ ," muttered Chelsea, frowning. "I _dun_ wanna do _dis wor_."

"We'll be _fine_ , Chelsie," Tansy reassured, patting her Buddy's shoulder. She was wearing a golden lion t-shirt and jeans. "We have a _naffing_ professor's permission this time!"

"Okay," Chelsea monotonously sighed after several minutes of Tansy making puppy dog eyes in her direction. " _Wingardium leviosa_."

As they hurried to the Defense Corridor, stacks of desks shakily trailing behind them, Tansy asked once more, "Just curious, but how much pranking experience do you have?"

Gale wryly grinned. "Some. Everyone plays senior pranks at Ilvermorny, 'specially those raised by no-majs. When I was a freshman, the seniors – Seventh Years – Transfigured all the bedside tables into baby tapirs and let loose capybaras labelled 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, and 8 in the halls. It took a week for the spell to be reversed and our Defense Professor, Professor Evelyn Wilson – I heard that she taught here for a year before coming to Ilvermorny – got squished to death after casting _A_ _ccio capybaras_. The Dorcuses that planned the pranks were arrested. I remember the Aurors storming the school and prosecuting them for murder at dinner that day. Last time I heard of them was in the news. They 'scaped from jail when I was in Fifth Year and have been on the run since then." She sighed.

After taking a deep breath and setting down the first desk pile, she continued, "Senior pranks were banned after that, but it's one of those rules that aren't really reinforced. My bestie, Tessa, and I stuffed non-Vanishable balloons filled with Stinksap in the staff room and turned all the floors into chess-square pattern. I'm pretty sure that the floors were still checked black-and-white when I graduated six weeks after that."

* * *

Let me just conclude that from the day after that, DADA lessons had to be held in Class 31 on the second floor instead of Classroom 3C in the Defense Corridor from then on…due to its inaccessibility. Toads hopped all over the corridors, which the Fifth Years in Transfiguration had to use as Vanishing practice…only because the Transfiguration classroom was also stuffed with suits of armour with Sticking Charms (and Professor McGonagall just happened to be running low on time and couldn't afford to use extra minutes to undo the Charms and Banish them out of her classroom)…and that it _did_ make good practice.

Of course, the day wasn't complete without the patrician known to some as Romulus Vargas being summoned down from the Afterlife to blast a song on European stereotypes through the corridors. On _repeat_ , to the point that everyone and every _thing_ in the school premises had memorized all the lyrics before he was sent back to the Afterlife at sundown.

" _IN HEAVEN, THE POLICE ARE BRITISH, THE LOVERS ARE ITALIAN, THE CHEFS ARE FRENCH, THE ENGINEERS ARE GERMAN AND THE BANKERS ARE SWISS. IN HELL, THE POLICE ARE GERMAN, THE LOVERS ARE SWISS, THE CHEFS ARE BRITISH, THE ENGINEERS ARE FRENCH AND THE BANKERS ARE ITALIAN._ "

(This led to the amusement of Gale, Professor Dumbledore and the Hongkongese visitors, yet also triggering – in the fanatical SJW sense – the offended sides of most of the Brits in the school. A certain Englishman was also heard spitting out heinous curses in multiple languages – including Latin – behind the performer's back and about how he was "ashamed to be [his] son" – most likely 'cos this is one of the main reasons why he had to endure so much bulls**t "like this".)

Somehow, that _didn't_ end up in the _Daily Prophet_. Probably because Cecelia Stori was Obliviated of any memory of getting said news from anyone at Hogwarts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation: Bin ying – Transfiguration [Cantonese]  
> A/N: I know that this is much shorter than last chapter, and I have a lot to deal with these days. If you are wondering about the identity of Cecelia Stori, I'll give you this hint – she has everything to do with the Daily Prophet. (Anyone that can guess her identity gets a shout-out!)  
> And yes, I know I'm breaking my review thing, but who the Nether cares? Just leave 'un, 'kay?  
> -Talons  
> P.S. Chapter 8 has more Personification involvement, but Chapter 9 is definitely mostly canon character territory. Just you wait and see.


	8. Intervention VI: Time Passes By (Weeks Pass By)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before we skip to Halloween, what happened in between? (Hey, that rhymes!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kyaaaa~ Christmas is drawing near and the first term of Secondary 3 is nearly over for me! Holidays have started, I'm watching Wreck-It Ralph on TV, exams are coming, and all is well for now! Update coming soon!  
> Date of Writing: 5-6 December 2018 (at least)  
> Date of Typing/Editing: 13 & 22 December 2018  
> Warning: Foul language and insults. Languages which are most certainly not English. More focus on (more) canon characters.

The weeks passed by. Lessons came and went. The weather got cooler, as Ara had found when she had to wear an extra layer, a down jacket and a Warming Charm.

"Are you okay, Ara?" Juliet had asked her as she read _Bauhinia Daily_ on the beige leather couch in her shared tent's sitting room area, her textbooks and notes for Physics, Biology, Mathematics, Geography, History, Magical Theory, Astronomy and Combat Arts stacked up seven to eight centimetres **(3 inches in the Imperial System)** thick on the coffee table in front. Juliet too had Arithmancy, Runes, Muggle Studies ( _Are British magicals really_ this _ignorant of the mundane? To have to have classes on their daily lives, as in_ why they need electricity _?_ ), Care of Magical Creatures and Divination. She was aiming for 12 OWLs, Juliet had told her. "I mean, you have to study even more subjects than I do. You have _all those_ Muggle subjects on top of your magical ones."

"I'm fine, Julie…let me test the Spell of the Week first." She put down the newspaper and grasped her wand from on top of her book stack on the coffee table. Poplar wood, as her father had told her when she got her wand from him. She flicked her right wrist. " _Transfodio_."

The spell struck the coffee table, as she wasn't aiming when she cast it, blasting a small hole in the table's leg, like a pistol with invisible bullets. "Whoa…the Piercing Curse, invented by an American new-blood to mimic the effects of firearms…no wonder," Ara murmured to herself. "It worked…though I bet the Ministry's going to Ban this within the week."

" _Ban_?! What do you mean, Ban?" Juliet was looking at her, thunderstruck.

"Yes. There are Bans on the Unforgivables, Fiendfyre, Horcruxes – whatever they are, but if it's Banned, then it _has_ to be very, very bad – Firestorm, the Eradication Spell, the Slashing Curse, the Silver Arrows Curse, the Slashing Blades Curse, the Dismembering Curse, the Gutting Curse, _Engorgio Skullus_ , the Entrail-Expelling Curse and many other Dark spells; and the usage of many _other_ spells like _Obliviate_ , the Blasting Curse, the Disillusionment Charm, _Expulso_ , the Fidelius Charm, the Legilimency Spell, _Portus_ , _Confundo_ , the Permanent Sticking Charm, the Reductor Curse, _Bombarda_ , _Bombarda Maxima_ , the Taboo, the Unbreakable Vow, etc., are regulated to various degrees by the Department of Safety and Concealment. And that's _not_ counting the potions and magical objects."

That was when Juliet's pile of books – in her hands – dropped to the floor.

"Your Ministry is mental," she heard Juliet mutter, shaking her head as her friend levitated her fallen books onto the coffee table.

"Yours would too if they had even an ounce of intelligence," she countered…in her head. "They can all be _so_ dangerous."

* * *

Two mornings later, an owl carrying a Howler landed in front of Mr. Kirkland – the younger one, of course. Ara didn't like Howlers. Public humiliation wasn't really her thing. Yet apparently, Brits enjoyed this like it's just casual morning entertainment – unless they happened to be on the unfortunate receiving end of the red shouting letters.

The colour drained from Mr. Kirkland's face faster than a hamster running on its wheel on crack. She had no idea where the metaphor came from, nor did she know the actual effects of a hamster on cocaine, but whatever.

The red envelope was opened. It rose into the air.

"HEY EYEBROWS!" shouted a voice – that of someone who was most likely a young man. He had an American accent…which was a bit strange. "GUESS WHAT? WE'LL BE DROPPING BY ON HALLOWEEN! SO _BE PREPARED TO BE WRECKED IN OUR CONTEST!_ " And…yes, he sounded very enthusiastic about this…and he definitely sang that last part. **(But Scar's the villain…not a** _ **hero**_ **…** _ **now**_ **what do we do? Traitor!)**

"And be prepared for this Dorcus," deadpanned another voice. "I'm not coming, by the w–"

"OI!" the loud American(?) voice cut in again. "YOU CAN'T USE MY OWN INSULTS AGAINST ME!"

"Well, we freaking well _can_ , you… _boon chon doi_!" retorted a third voice after a pause.

"MATTIE!" cried the first voice again. "HELP ME! THESE DUDES ARE GANGING UP ON ME!"

"Sorry, brother," a soft voice, presumably "Mattie" answered. The reply sounded as though he had _zero regrets_.

"BUT YOU'RE MY BROTHER!" the American(?) voice had broken into an overdramatic whine. "MY _TWIN_ BROTHER! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME, YOU TRAI–" And he was cut off by the third voice.

" _Apa kabar_ , _Kiasu_ Harbour." She noticed that the representative for her side of the exchange programme (sent by the Ministry?) paling instantly like Mr. Kirkland. She wondered why, and what ' _Kiasu_ Harbour' had anything to do with him, and if the two representatives were related in any sense (or if the surnames thing was just a coincidence – after all, she knew a girl surnamed Yeung at home, and they weren't related as far as she knew). "The rest of the Isles and I come in tomorrow. I think you should get some alcohol and honey-flavoured Drooble's Best Blowing Gum. We'll be here for a while."

All of a sudden, another loud and obnoxious voice rang out, "HOW CAN YOU GUYS FORGET ABOUT ME? _ICH_ , THE AWESOME PRU–"

" _Sia lah_ , shut up for once, Beilshmidt!" shouted the third voice once again. There was an awkward silence of about five seconds (Ara could swear that she heard crickets chirping at the wrong time of day) before he said, "Okay, bye!" And at last, the Howler ripped itself into pieces.

* * *

Indeed, the next morning saw the arrivals of Emrys Kirkland of Wales, Keiran Campbell-Kirkland of Northern Ireland, Erin K. Campbell of Ireland and Ethan Chia of Singapore. Ara did wonder, _why the devil are there so many Kirklands? And what is a_ Singaporean _doing here? Isn't this just supposed to concern the UK and home?_

The 'diplomats' ( _or are they?_ Ara's mind questioned. _Why_ is _there one for every part of the UK instead of just one for the whole country?_ ) showed up to the DA meetings, as she saw when Juliet dragged her to Hogsmede and Harry Potter's skills were…volunteered by his friends to teach the school Combat Arts as their teacher was indeed a _puk gai_. They even staged duels and helped teach during the meetings to "show how this sh!t is done" – she wasn't quite sure who said that, but _someone_ did.

"You can't wave your wand and just say the incantation in a fight," another one of the 'diplomats' had said one meeting. "You. Have. To. _Move_. Or you'll be a freaking sitting duck. _Dodge_. Use _whatever_ you can get to get on top: fight dirty, use the environment around you and any tricks you have up your sleeve, _anything_ that won't get you in trouble with the law."

The seven 'diplomats' plus Caoimhe (Kiva? Keeva? What?) then had a duel to demonstrate their point, all versus all.

"I'm gonna win this," said the oldest Kirkland, Alistair.

"I'd like to see you try," countered the "full-blooded Irishwoman", as she had claimed.

" _Fong ma guo lai lah_ ," the youngest in the group had stated, dark eyes burning with intensity. ( _Wait, isn't_ Caoimhe _the youngest? Then again, looks aren't everything…_ )

After putting up a barrier between the duelists and the onlookers, the Great Duel in the Room of Requirement began. It took twenty-four minutes to end: all left of the impromptu arena were magical fireworks exploding left and right, several broken Dark Detectors, bookcases which were blasted to splinters cuts and scorch marks and holes in the walls, marks of explosions in the floor; a large collapsed wooden table with a missing leg, a black sheep being tied down and beat repeatedly in the back with _said_ missing leg; the Campbells still locked in a duel; an army of various creatures attacking the remaining two Kirkland brothers, one of whom was Hexed to speak non-stop in expletives (the older members of the DA were forced to shield the younger ones' ears), something invisible (a tiny winged green rabbit, Luna Lovegood had described it as, though) tugging on the Hongkonger's hair; clothing being turned various colours, clothes being set on _FIYAH_ …let's just say that it looked like a bomb had been thrown into where a typhoon had passed through.

The audience was stunned…figuratively.

Ron Weasley was the first to break the silence.

"BLOODY HELL!"

* * *

Throughout the weeks, the number of pranks played on High Inquisitor Umbridge increased. The kitten plates on her office wall were Charmed to insult her, some of which were extremely creative and/or extremely crude. Books were enchanted to fly all over the library (the main result, though, was a very furious Madam Pince), the classrooms (only when Professor Umbridge was inspecting, of course), the offices, anywhere. Cling film **(US: Saran wrap)** was found wrapped on the toilets, and packets of ketchup, jam, etc. (the kind you get at fast food restaurants) were placed under toilet seats **(please refer to** _ **Captain Underpants: Wrath of the Wicked Wedgie Woman**_ **).** Doors were stuck to their frames with Sticking Charms, in large quantities, to the point that classes had to be cancelled one day due to the sheer number of doors stuck to their frames with _Permanent_ Sticking Charms. Objects of all sorts were Transfigured and Charmed left and right, sometimes rather inappropriately. Dungbombs were set off in the corridors every other day. The Weasley twins were receiving a suspiciously large revenue in Galleons. And before the first Hogsmede visit, a Halloween Ball (costumes required!) was announced.

And…that's about all that was, really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRANSLATION TIME, AGAIN!  
> The Slashing Curse = Sectumsempra  
> Boon chon doi: a Malay insult…look it up yourself. I will warn you though, its literal meaning is a little…sexual.  
> Apa kabar: Malay for "hello" (please correct me if I'm wrong)  
> Ich: "I" or "Me" (used in this context) in German  
> Sia lah: Singlish for something along the lines of "OMG"  
> Puk gai:…please refer to Chapter 1  
> Fong ma guo lai lah: Basically "Come at me, bro" in Cantonese (in terms of meaning only as the literal translation is different)
> 
> A/N: There and done!  
> Please leave a comment!  
> Next time on 'Bauhinia, Globe and Trolling the Racists': a bird of prey soared into Hogwarts at breakfast on Halloween. Pandemonium ensued.


	9. Intervention VII: Let's Go, If It's for Justice (The Eagle Has Landed)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An eagle flew into the Great Hall at breakfast on Halloween. Pandemonium ensued.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Happy New Year (from my time zone)! Since I won't be actively writing until mid-to-late January because of exams, I expect that the next chapter will be posted in February, hopefully by Chinese New Year. I'm sorry that you'll have to wait, but hey, I hope that you enjoy the chapter!  
> Date of Writing: 28 November 2018 –5 December 2018  
> Date of Typing and Editing: 13-14, 23, 25, 29-30 December 2018  
> Warning: Mild romance and trauma. I'm sorry if this isn't realistic – research can be so difficult sometimes. I'll also be using a lot of surnames (last names), since this is mostly Harry Potter's PoV and he doesn't trust them all automatically. I apologize for any inaccurate Singlish or accents (if any), once again.

_Tuesday, 31 October 1995_

It was Halloween.

Harry had been dreading this day for weeks. It was practically ingrained into him at this point that All Hallows' Eve was bad news: 1981, his parents died at the hands of Voldemort; 1991, a Troll in the "dungeons" (it was in the first floor girls' bathroom); 1992, the Chamber of Secrets was re-opened for the first time since 1943; 1993, Sirius tried to break into Gryffindor Tower (it counted only as he hadn't known that his Dogfather was innocent yet); last year, his name came out of that goddamn Goblet; and that wasn't counting the times when he was locked into "his" cupboard while Dudley the humanoid hog went trick-or-treating with his various animalistic _amigo_ s. (Hey, that boa constrictor taught him a teeny bit of Portuguese, didn't he?)

This time though, his heart was running around in a blind panic in his chest, not knowing what to expect. _It's the Halloween Ball. You have half your school day off. You'll be fine! C'mon, just double Charms and Transfiguration. No Care of Magical Creatures, no double Herbology, no detention with Umb!tch, it's gonna be okay!_

As he dug through his trunk for his costume (for the ball, which he had bought in Hogsmede), he picked up a set of paper, stapled together – _yes,_ paper _, not parchment_ , his head reminded him. If there weren't a Halloween Ball that night, Heathers, as she had said, "would've totally set a quiz for [that day]'s lesson." Then she proceeded with distributing notes on all the magical creatures that they had learnt of: Bowtruckles, Clabberts, Crups, Diricawls, Fairies, Fyrserpents, Hippogriffs, Knarls, Kneazles, Salamanders and Unicorns. She had further stated, "We'll learn the more interesting ones once we're done with your exam requirements…which are lower than the probability of two parallel lines intersecting."

He'd have to study that.

_Maybe tomorrow._

* * *

_8:00 am_

Minutes after Harry, Ron and Hermione sat down at the Gryffindor Table, hundreds of owls swooped in through the windows. A collared scops owl and a barn owl landed in front of one of the representatives, carrying a teal, white and sky-blue box. An exchange student at the Slytherin Table was dipping her bacon into condensed milk. The teachers that came with Causeway were chowing down on scrambled eggs and hotcakes (pancakes). A girl at the Gryffindor Table (who was younger than him) was pelting boiled eggs at the Slytherin Table…which only made it to the Hufflepuff Table, at most Ravenclaw. Umbridge was sipping on some tea…and instantly spat it out. (Someone probably put some disgusting substance in it.)

It was right after his beloved Hedwig had snatched a couple of rashers of bacon from his plate when one last bird of prey so much larger than an owl soared in.

The bird's feathers were a shade of deep ebony from a worm's eye view, except for the head and the tail – a shade of white that seemed slightly like ivory – and has an orangey-yellow beak. It (or is that a He? Or a She?) dove towards the Staff Table, snatching what looked like a kipper off of Umbridge's plate –

"Hey!" A red jet of light shot at the bird of prey – eagle, perhaps, that dodged the Stunner, dropping the kipper in the process. Said kipper landed on the head of that exchange student who ducked under the Table when the post arrived every day. What's his name again, Jonathan? Joshua? Josiah? Jeremy?

" _Stupefy_!" The eagle(?) swerved around that Stunner, as well as another few dozen, which barely missed. It(?) was still 'performing' manoeuvres through the Great Hall – ones that would make even professional-level star Quidditch players _ooh_ and _aah_ in admiration or green with the Deadly Sin of Envy, but it(?) was gradually slowing down in flight…

The 'diplomats' for the British Isles had gone stiff, watching the bird of prey frantically dodge the barrage of spells coming its(?) way. The other two diplomats' faces were incomprehensible, but their emotions were clear – the Hongkongese one had dropped his…it looked like a custard tart but it clearly wasn't one, with its strange slightly-burnt surface, and the Singaporean one had whipped out his wand. Heathers seemed to be chanting the word " _no_ " over and over again quietly. Everyone else's eyes were on the flailing creature, pointing, muttering, gasping, sighing in relief every time it(?) sidestepped (or should it be side- _flew_? Whatever…) a spell. Umbridge's face was now pinker than her robes, but her wand was still in hand.

" _Impedimenta_!" A dodge. A _sluggish_ dodge. It had been 13 minutes. Most duels barely lasted past five. Maybe the eagle(?) was getting tired…though he was only assuming – he knew nothing about bird of prey biology.

" _Incarcerous_!" Ink-black ropes wrapped themselves around the bird of prey as it(?) was struck by Umbridge's fiftieth spell, and down it(?) fell…onto the Gryffindor Table. And that was how Harry got a good look at the Toad B– _Witch_ 's latest victim.

Its (His? Hers?) wide-open eyes were a strange colour for a bird of prey – not yellow or amber, or anything along those lines; but an odd cerulean hue, darker than the sky on a sunny, cloudless day, yet lighter than teal. Feathers of an even darker shade of brown (black?) lined its(?) sides and wings. A series of slightly darker feathers (platinum, perhaps?) surrounded each of its(?) eyes, forming sort-of rectangular shapes…reminiscent of McGonagall's glasses markings _when she's in her Animagus form_.

_Merlin's pants!_

That was when…

_Whoever this is, he or she is –_

…the predator on the Table turned into a person.

– _an Animagus!_

And the Gryffindor Table shuddered and broke into two, plates of and jugs/goblets/mugs/glasses of British, Irish and (East/Southeast) Asian breakfast foods and drinks slipping, sliding, spilling. _Brilliant._

He was bespectacled ( _*cough*_ as if the markings weren't an obvious indication _*cough*_ ) and had a strange blond ahoge that seemed to defy gravity by sticking up. (This time, he wasn't bothered with questioning how that was possible anymore – _ah, the things that happen when you've been in the magical world for too long_.) His eyes were half-closed, but their bright cerulean hue was still visible. For whatever reasons, he was breathing strangely… _wait a second_.

The ropes.

Umbridge's ropes.

One of the pitch-black cords had wrapped itself around his neck.

 _Well c**p_.

Harry stepped forward and placed his wand tip on the rope around the precarious position. _Please don't cut his throat open, please don't cut his throat open…_ " _Diffindo_." Fortunately, the stretch of rope was cleanly sliced into two, not more, not less, or he would be facing murder charges or something. But beneath the rope were… _are those…faded rope burns? They can't have been from Umbridge, they look like they've been there for a long time…_

"Mr. Potter, what are you doing?" a saccharine voice rang out behind him, and _oh no, it's Umbridge, what the bloody hell do you want now?_ He turned to face her.

"Mr. Potter, what are you doing?" the Toad repeated. Dumbledore, McGonagall, the rest of the staff, To ( _why is it pronounced as 'toe'?_ ), the other Hongkongese teacher whose name escaped him at that moment and the miniature army called the Campbell-Kirkland family (kind of…basically, all the 'diplomats') were right behind her, faces in various states of shock, concern or…unreadable expressions.

"Making sure that you don't strangle him, _Professor_ ," he replied, making sure that he dragged out the last word so that it felt like the sarcasm was dripping from it like melted chocolate off a fruit skewer from a chocolate fountain.

"Ten points from Gryffindor for intervening in professional matters," Umbridge said in a clipped tone, "and stand aside. _Now_." She didn't seem to notice the anxious and/or indignant looks on the faces of the people behind her, especially the diplomats'. Well, of course, except for Wong-Kirkland and Chia, but he could clearly see that they were soundlessly voicing their disapproval with their eyes. If looks of disapproval could kill (Basilisks unincluded), Umbridge would have dropped dead on the Great Hall floor if she were looking at them.

"He has to go to the Hospital Wing," Pomfrey ordered firmly, but to the youngest (European) Kirkland's dismay, as he had noticed, she was ignored too.

Harry looked back at the fallen Animagus. He appeared to be hyperventilating and trying to sit up while slightly quivering…ah, it must be the freezing-cold pumpkin juice soaking his jacket. One of his arms was oddly bent… _uh oh._

"Whoever you are, _Mister_ , you are under arrest for trespassing, theft and being an illegal Animagus," the High Inquisitor declared shrilly, wand pointing at the young man's neck. She did not seem to have noticed that said Animagus – illegal or not – in front of her was still looking like he was snapping out of his daze from his fall, while edging away from the wand tip, eyes almost whimpering, _what the f**k are you doing to me?_ In the tone of an anthropomorphized puppy. An _abused_ anthropomorphized puppy.

The Hall around them was silent.

Dumbledore's eyes were twinkling, but his facial expressions were stern. "Dolores, stop pointing your wand at our guest." Surprisingly, Umbridge complied, although still shooting a glare at the Animagus, who didn't flinch. Which was a bit surprising too, considering his previous subconscious body movement.

"Good morning, Alfred. I trust that your…flight was successful?" Dumbledore asked, in a much friendlier tone. A flurry of murmurs spread throughout the Hall.

The young man – "Alfred", apparently – finally managed to sit up and gave his answer, "Totally _amazing_ , dude: I almost missed my plane, didn't sleep all night, haven't had breakfast; my internal clock says it's 3am, this place hasn't got coffee, that _f**king Toad_ –" here several jaws dropped at the casual use of the F-bomb, but the guy that sounded suspiciously like whomever called the younger Kirkland brother "Eyebrows" went on with his tirade, "– shot me down, my jacket's soaked with pumpkin juice and – hey, Iggy!"

The blond diplomat with green eyes looked like he was smirking with…pride…before hearing the last word, then flushed redder than his oldest brother's hair. "Do _not_ call me that, especially _not in public_ , you git!"

"Aww, c'mon, don't be such a grouchy-pants, Eyebrows," the newcomer continued to tease.

"Shut up, and don't call me that." the youngest full-blooded Kirkland brother snapped. " _Emancipare_. _Mendu osto._ _Tergeo_." The ropes immediately came loose and…the obviously broken arm was fixed. The mess created by the spilled pumpkin juice was cleaned up. He'd have to learn that first spell.

"Jeez, thanks, dude!" Suddenly, "Alfred" sounded like a carefree child on a sugar high despite the fact that he literally crashed down on the Gryffindor Table _and broke it_ minutes before…and he pretty much glomped the other guy, to the almost fond(?) laughter of the rest of the full-blooded Campbell-Kirklands (except for the Welsh one. Emrys?). He also saw several professors _aw_ -ing or grinning like idiots.

" _Hem, hem_." _Oh sh!t_ , Harry forgotten that Umb!tch was still there. _What does she want now? Does she know that she could have caused an international incident?_

"What is your name? Your full name," said b– _witch_ demanded coldly, pointing her wand at the American's throat, not noticing – or ignoring a silent, slight flinch.

"Alfred F. Jones, and stop invading my personal space, woman! It's precious!" came the answer, loud, confident and slightly offended… _what is up with this guy? Why is he flickering between this and…being scared?_

"Excuse me, mister," interjected Hermione, who he hadn't noticed since this Jones man arrived, "but what does the 'F' stand for?"

"I do believe that we would all like to know that, Miss Granger," Umbridge appeared to add…grudgingly in agreement. Harry couldn't believe himself, but he was curious about the weird initial that stood for who-knows-what as well.

The 'diplomats' and the one newcomer glanced at each other in silence…he swore that he could hear crickets chirping beyond the castle walls, even though it wasn't night (at least not in the current time zone).

Several seconds later, a collective sigh of almost resignation – _or is it a laugh?_ – came from the eight individuals… _why is the Irish one the only female one? Ugh, whatever._

The Hongkongese one – Wong-Kirkland – was the first to give an answer. "No one know."

"I bet you ten Galleons that not even Arthur knows, even though he's…you know, _with_ Alfred. Like, they're _together_ -together," added Chia in a slightly uncomfortable tone, as though that were a kind-of taboo subject. _Oh. So_ that's _what's up between them._ Another flurry of mutters spread from the four House Tables. A look of horror-shock-disgust flickered across Umbridge's face, but it appeared that she was the only one with such a reaction.

"No bet. It can mean anything that start with letter F. Can be Franklin or Foster," continued Wong-Kirkland.

"Or variation of Frederick," Chia went on.

"It _can_ be Francis," Heathers admitted, but then the youngest Kirkland immediately snapped that it couldn't be…only that he termed it rather crudely.

"Or Freedom," suggested one of the other Kirklands…Harry wasn't sure which one though.

"O' even F**k," another one of the 'diplomats' added bluntly, "F**k-yeah, F**kin' –"

"Yes, we know that. You've said it enough, _Ayarlāntu_ ," sighed Chia in the end. Somehow, during that whole discussion, Jones had not spoken once.

" _Hem, hem_." _Not again…_ "Now, as I was saying, Mr. –"

"High Inquisitor Umbridge, I do not believe that you can just arrest Mr. Am– Jones like that." _Was that a slip-up or…hmm…_

Umb!tch turned to Heathers icily, "Why so, _Abigail_? Have you worked in the Ministry of Magic?"

"No, Madam, but my mom–"

"Do you," the Pink Toad interrupted once more, "have a full understanding of our laws, _Abigail_?" This was starting to sound like the first lesson with Umbridge.

"No, _Madam_. Seriously, like that time with the Fwooper flock in the Wizengemot? Y' know, that one time when–"

"Yes, yes, we needn't listen to you blabber, _Professor Heathers_. You have only just got off probation, and if you ever mess up again, you, not _will – are going to_ be fired on behalf of the Ministry. Do you understand?"

Heathers didn't look very happy about that. " _Oui_ , ma'am."

So Umbridge continued, "My apologies. Why–"

This time, it was _her_ turn to be interrupted. "Did you get our Howler?" asked Jones.

"How could I forget?" muttered the High Inquisitor, though loud enough to be audible for the entire Great Hall.

"Good!" A smile was plastered on the blond's face, although it looked 'oddly' false. "We told you beforehand that we're gonna come."

"I did _not_ say that you could cross the boundaries of Hogwarts!"

"You didn't tell us we couldn't!" The grin suddenly seemed a tad smug. "And Dumbledore let me in, so it's not trespassing."

There was a pause before Umb!tch could give a response. "…Even if your… _entrance_ was not unauthorized, it most certainly is _not_ legal. Your charge on being an unregistered Animagus still stands, Mr. –"

"That's _bulls**t_ ," Jones interrupted _again_. "I'm registered at the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. The MACUSA one. Yeah, I'm not a big fan of it, considering that I …well, never mind." All of a sudden, the atmosphere around him seemed to change, and not in a good way. Specifically, it felt like…haunted, like the _trauma_ kind of haunted. Harry wondered why the young man less than a metre away from him had reasons to harbour such dislike and even be _traumatised_ by the American magical government (that's what he assumed it was)…maybe it was something like his own personal experiences with the law…maybe _worse_.

"So your warrant is invalid," Jones concluded, before turning to his…partner. "Wait, Iggy, _can the Senior Undersecretary of the Minister of Magic even arrest people at your place?_ " A few teens sniggered at the nickname, but it appeared as though the atmosphere could be cut through with a blunt Play-Doh knife.

"For the ten-thousand-two-hundred-and-thirty-third time in your life, do _not_ call me any of your silly nicknames!"

"But _Kiku_ made that one up!"

"Belt up. However..." the youngest full-blooded Kirkland smirked, "no, I don't think she can, pet."

"So ya can't arrest me for anything, _madam_. Including the theft charge – I didn't even know it's yours!" Once again, all of a sudden, the mood seemed to change…as Jones seemed to be addressing the _students_ and not Umb!tch anymore. "Hey, dudes! What's for breakfast?"

As the horde of 'diplomats' and professors headed for the Head Table, Harry swore that he heard a couple of the 'diplomats' chatting,

"She know she can be charge with attempted murder? Rope could have killed _Mei Gwok_!"

"Don't worry, we not die like this. We call NATO?"

"Fifty points to Gryffindor for saving a life…kinda," he also swore that he heard Heathers murmur. _But…what does Chia mean, "not die like this"? And can anyone_ please _come back and fix the Gryffindor Table? It's_ still _broken, and I don't reckon we can mend this thing by ourselves! How_ did _Jones even break it?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Mendu osto – original healing spell  
> Ayarlāntu – Tamil for 'Ireland'  
> Mei Gwok – Cantonese for America (as in USA), long form is almost never used
> 
> Calculation Notes (You may skip this if you don't want to read what goes on on the other side of the screen.):  
> By the map (please remove spaces) at www. city metric sites/ default/ files/ article_ body_ 2016/ 12/ hogwarts_2. png (note: I know Hogwarts is Unplottable and all but let's just assume that this is the school's location), the closest major city to Hogwarts out of Dundee, Edinburgh and Glasgow in terms of direct distance is Dundee. Since the distance between Dundee and Perth is about 29km, by approximate measurement, the distance between Hogwarts and Dundee is approximately 57km.  
> Since the average gliding-flapping speed of a bald eagle is 56-70km/h, a bald eagle can theoretically fly between the two cities in an hour.  
> As of Halloween 1995, the UK had already switched back to GMT, as opposed to BST. Suppose that the flight landed at 7am, so that the arrival at Hogwarts is 8am. According to www. happy zebra distance- calculator/ New York- to- Dundee. php, the estimated flight time between NYC (JFK International Airport to LaGuardia Airport) is 6 hours 49 minutes, which I will round up to 7 hours, post-flight airport procedures included. This means that the plane takes off at midnight GMT, while it was 7pm at NYC (because EST is GMT/UTC-5).  
> God, it took me so long to work out the most realistic, pragmatic approach to this.
> 
> A/N: I ended up editing the second half of the chapter quite a bit…to make the tone a little more upbeat…and for characterization purposes. Can't have canon 'uns too OOC, right? (Over 2700 words of actual content, wow!)  
> Plus, I need costume suggestions for the Halloween Ball, for…Singapore, Prussia, Australia, New Zealand, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland and Ireland. You can add more Commonwealth-related Nations should you wish to make the Halloween Ball extra crazy.  
> Remember that anything created after Halloween 1995 cannot be acceptable suggestions as they didn't exactly exist back then. The topics for this are 'Their Respective Histories' and 'Their Pop Culture'. Anything to show that they are themselves.  
> Please leave reviews/comments on ideas and suggestions, because I seriously don't have a poll – I don't know enough about any of them, and I haven't got time for research.
> 
> Anyways, I'll see you in a month or two, I hope!  
> -Yingzau


	10. HIATUS ALERT

**A/N: I'm really sorry, everyone. I've had writer's block for the past couple of weeks, and am unable to update. The next chapter is coming along very,** ** _very_ ** **slowly, so please be patient. After all, I still have plenty of schoolwork to finish.**

 **Please also** **_not_ ** **leave a comment on this chapter until I update.** **I promise to replace this author's note with the next chapter once I upload the next chapter** **\- it's Part 1/2 of the Halloween Special, by the way. Please don't report me.**

 **Thank you so much for your patience. I swear I'll be back in a few more weeks…maybe months, though I** **_do_ ** **hope that I can post before I enter Form 4 in September (I also hope) - my current school year is the beginning of the busy DSE (public exam) years.**

**Hoping to see you again as soon as possible,**

**AquaEclipse**


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